Archived from Feb 01 2005

I am really a stupid fool. I stare at my maths tutorial and i dunnoe how to do my sums. I think i am probably the worst maths student in the entire maths faculty. I quietly sob when i sit at the YIH study room to do my maths problems. Nobody knows it coz it seems like i am clearing my nose due to some flu. I am feeling so lousy lah, it sucks. And I just feel kinda depressed over the entire thing, and how i can feel so worthless all because of some stupid maths tutorial. Sometimes when things get so difficult and you stop excelling in it, you wonder if you are really still passionate over the subject.
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Today was a seriously unproductive day. i cant believe i actually sat at THAT seat. i'm not superstitious and all, but ok maybe a bit? or maybe i'm juz finding something to attribute blame to? Well today i sat at this particular seat where i cried last yr. 8 hrs n i didnt manage to complete 2 of my tutorials.

Last yr during tt pd, was seemingly the most depressing period of my life. i remembered myself struggling to complete my maths tutorial every tues b4 trg. Yes it was really dat bad. came to a pt where i doubted myself so much, n my esteem dipped drastically. I remembered iso writing slips of encouragement and stuffing it to me. or twin writing those postcards to cheer me on. or meiping to tell a lame joke. or yirang to standby a hug at src. or wenya who'd ask, 'r u ok cindy?' everyone cld really tell when it was a bad day for me and they'd go outta the way ask if i was fine. nv felt a lack of love.

when i'm quiet, there's smth wrong.

If there's an up side abt free falling, its the chance u give ur friends(team mates) to catch u when u r falling. -Grey's Anatomy

Well, i dunnoe who's reading my blog and all. but it really doesnt matter. anyway, Hang In There!