遗憾

"hey u r damn gd in tiz ah? u shd have let go of ur maths grades in yr 1 n start anew. u will b doing honours le" -bc's sms

she asked me how i did for diz sem n i sent her my grades. i did some calculations. true enuf, if i had started anew, my cap now wld be 3.7. all clear sign, green light..gd enuf to do honours wif 2nd lower. however, it means my 1st yr in nus had gone to waste n i'd have to start off in a clean state.

And if frm e very beginning, i chose to go the FASS, n hypothetically scored on average a B grade for my 1st yr, i wld have gotten 3.65 by now. once again, gd enuf to do honours wif 2nd lower.

tiz sem's cap alone is my best ever. was it a save the best for the last?

anw i dun wanna think abt it le. if tiz is indeed God's plan, then He definitely has a reason for it. Who am i to question the reason? humans r always like tt, we r nv satisfied. we ought to give thanx instead of always asking for more.

i'm v troubled. right now, it's a matter of do i want it, or do i really want it? i'm only confident enuf to say the former. i juz dun feel ready. n if i'm not able to commit fully n give of my best, i'd rather choose not to go for it. (p/s tiz is not related to trg.)