reflections
sometimes i wonder if the little kid (gin na) in me is still alive, or is it gone for gd.
So, today was the last water trg. Frankly i'm glad we had the team to ourselves w/o ah-pa for sat and sun. We can do it by ourselves, u gotta trust each and every one. Yea, trust is earned n some pple has not earned my trust. Or shd i say, tt person broke a trust tt was established. Not worth mentioning who it is. THAT person who gives me no reason to smile abt..
Oh where was i. Right, wondering if the little kid in me is gone for gd or is alive but buried in depths tt requires excavation.
Every now n then, I'd do reflections. Ok, i do it every night b4 sleeping. was looking back on today and all tt was in it. Aft trg we TP-ed. Right. And my excitement for TP-ing is so low i cant seem to link it the idea of me actually being the TP advocator. It was wenya who brought a camera. Boon chin had to urge me to take a pic aft they took alot of pics. '5 sec..5 sec only! very fast one!' when i was sorting out stuff with ch. I reluctantly (yea u didnt see wrongly) went to TP.
Jul came down today. A surprise. It was nice talking to u on our way to have lunch, and on the way home. No intention of crying, but upon seeing us and pple calling u, 'Jul!'--us on the boat, u on the shore. Emotions hit u hard. There is really no need to say sorry. My plt mate, my jie mei, my team mate and most importantly, my friend. 8 yrs of friendship and counting. Hahaha i cant help but keep thinking bout obs all of a sudden. broken middle finger, me needing u to lead me to my bed. u know it all *shhhesh*
When u told me bout the seeing us and being so overwhelmed with emotions, i just flashback to the future. Some day i'd be on the shore. Will i feel wad u r gg thru right now? No one can tell for now.
Am i still an open book?
wenting, when u come back try reading me.
Some thoughts just run thru my head all the time. Maybe i shdnt think so much. Dont think, just do.
If i had to do a self evaluation for myself, i'll be so hard on myself.
So, today was the last water trg. Frankly i'm glad we had the team to ourselves w/o ah-pa for sat and sun. We can do it by ourselves, u gotta trust each and every one. Yea, trust is earned n some pple has not earned my trust. Or shd i say, tt person broke a trust tt was established. Not worth mentioning who it is. THAT person who gives me no reason to smile abt..
Oh where was i. Right, wondering if the little kid in me is gone for gd or is alive but buried in depths tt requires excavation.
Every now n then, I'd do reflections. Ok, i do it every night b4 sleeping. was looking back on today and all tt was in it. Aft trg we TP-ed. Right. And my excitement for TP-ing is so low i cant seem to link it the idea of me actually being the TP advocator. It was wenya who brought a camera. Boon chin had to urge me to take a pic aft they took alot of pics. '5 sec..5 sec only! very fast one!' when i was sorting out stuff with ch. I reluctantly (yea u didnt see wrongly) went to TP.
Jul came down today. A surprise. It was nice talking to u on our way to have lunch, and on the way home. No intention of crying, but upon seeing us and pple calling u, 'Jul!'--us on the boat, u on the shore. Emotions hit u hard. There is really no need to say sorry. My plt mate, my jie mei, my team mate and most importantly, my friend. 8 yrs of friendship and counting. Hahaha i cant help but keep thinking bout obs all of a sudden. broken middle finger, me needing u to lead me to my bed. u know it all *shhhesh*
When u told me bout the seeing us and being so overwhelmed with emotions, i just flashback to the future. Some day i'd be on the shore. Will i feel wad u r gg thru right now? No one can tell for now.
Am i still an open book?
wenting, when u come back try reading me.
Some thoughts just run thru my head all the time. Maybe i shdnt think so much. Dont think, just do.
If i had to do a self evaluation for myself, i'll be so hard on myself.
posted by Cindy at
12:27 am
3 Comments:
hey cindy dear.
thank you very much for your concern and support during this period.
i should have expected that i would be overwhelmed with emotions upon seeing you guys. coming to terms with the fact that my neglience in taking care of myself during times of stress has brought me to this state....
but anyhow, yes, i do agree with you, that only when one has been with the team and having felt IT will understand what i felt yesterday when i saw you guys rowing towards the pontoon.
do take good care as you switch to mugger mode. ;)
By
jUL_, at Wed Nov 16, 05:46:00 pm
heh girls, i'm almost tearing when i read your blog...thou i dun really know wat's happening i mean jul didn go for training or something like tt?but im real touched by wat you said bout 'only when one has been with the team and having felt IT will understand what i felt yesterday when i saw you guys rowing towards the pontoon.'
it reminds me of NCC days...n dunno y i miss you guys so much suddenly...esp jul...haven been hearing from my dear jul...study hard k my dear buddies...here's e warmest hug i've eva given you:P*HUGZ!!*
By
Anonymous, at Fri Nov 18, 06:09:00 pm
Hey cindy, I never thought that the kid in you is gone.. just that if you're occupied.. the kid cant come out.. cos i remember.. you can't multi task! heh(=
Its still there.. I see hints all the time. Yes, you think too much.
(=
By
Lunatic, at Sat Nov 19, 11:17:00 am
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