deedee

it is only today tt i realised tt deedee, for better or for worse, has become part of me.

There was some error and it was juz a black screen and i sent it to the comp centre to see what they could do to fix the prob. Apparently ntg much tt they cld do other den to save the impt documents onto my thumbdrive.

"How abt the pictures?" i asked the person.

"File too big, ur thumbdrive do not have enough memory space to save." He directed me to the toshiba repair centre to have the hard drive changed. Which i did. Went to sci-ence, to the repair centre and handed deedee over. Had to sign a document to consent to this, "All data will be deleted."

It was damn heart wrenching to put my signature down. The documents, though important, is not as impt to my pictures. I'm someone who really loves to take pictures coz i really feel this great need to preserve a memory. Now all will be gone.

The way back to hostel without a 2.2kg load on my hand was most upsetting. My pictures, all my db memories (for the past 1 1/2 yrs).. the idea of losing all tt was juz painful.

Have u watched the mtv by 林俊杰 一千年以后? There's this particular scene of him trying to erase his memory of this relationship he once had. Anyway, tt image flashed in my head and it was almost the same pain intensity, if not worse. the feeling of losing wad's most precious to me. overwhelming. I teared.

So now u kinda know why i love to TP? It's precious, trust me. It's bout me holding on dearly to a part of memory, which u very well noe, is subject to distortion and it gets lost aft some time. I want to keep it as alive as i can, to the best capacities.

Boon chin came over to hostel and aft hearing my story, adviced me to take back deedee to have the pictures recovered b4 sending my hard disk for repair. She has some backup programme tt i cld save all my pictures n documents into. Went back to sci-ence to collect dee and upon some experimentation, she kinda fixed my laptop. yah like seriously, wow~. thanks man. Decided to buy some happy food and spread the happiness ard. I choose to be happy and i want to be happy. Yes, i have the habit of giving my roomies the intangibles. Things tt cannot be bought. Happiness for one, comes in the form of a whiff. For those who do not understand, well, u dun really have to. Try being my roomie and u'll find out ;]

i'm still upset tt deedee is down, even aft bc resucitating it. think its kinda gone for now.

today has pretty much been an emotional roller coaster ride for me. i guess its nice to have a ci gina playing some form of hide-and-seek in our hostel. Seriously, i once again reiterate tt maturity dun come with age. Have to play scanvanger hunt to find back piglet and ducky. Given cheesy hints like 'piglet fell when its abt to take things to shower' -_-"

This gina happens to be someone who ever said to me, 'u play cheat is it!?' aft she supported me in my doing of pull ups. Or the 'how come u dunno u nv ask!?' That was in my yr 1 sem 1. Like seriously..