scars

i was being a lil bored today. i kinda forgotten how my left leg looked b4 i had that scar, all 'thanks' to the unfortunate fall, n even more unfortunate bad job of 10 stitches by the paramedic at penang :[

Penang '05. where i still had NO scar. n where i was still so young, energetic, full of life.

No scar above left knee yet.
This marked the beginning of a scar for life.
the scar tt will accompany me for e rest of my life.

today during trg, i suddenly thought of david. Well, it juz suddenly occured to me tt some of e stuff he taught us can actually applied to make us improve in some aspects we r weaker in. anw looking thru the pics, i realised tt 'prize giving ceremony' is no longer like b4, where previously, the coach wld give out the medal to us one by one. i'd always rmb the 'gd done ah..' heh.

felt pretty weak today. i juz cldn't exert as much power as i previously did. felt v 'pang-cik' n i hate to feel that way.

i'm stressed abt wad awaits me tmr during the XPhysique challenge. i hate myself for letting shit happen to me time n again. I juz dont learn frm previous experiences! i seem to have a particular flare in willingly putting myself into shitholes n let shit happen. now i'm juz v troubled over not being able to perform tmr. i'm in a 3 guys 1 gal team (u nd to form e team like tt) n it sux coz i obviously noe i'm the weakest link n i'm so gonna hold them back. i shd be having fun, but..i dont think i am.

also, i learnt diz wk tt i shd nv let myself be too happy each day. i realised tt if i'm v happy for tt 1 particular day, somehow the next day shit awaits me. its as if i nd to ration my happiness wisely n not use up too much within the day itself, else the next day i'm left with much less.

i dunno wad to type anymore. nitez