Gd done ah

I just read someone’s blog. Haiz.. I cant find e appropriate thing to say. To hold back n fight back those tears is such a painful thing to do. Just like bottling up your feelings when u’ve got something u really really wanna to help a friend but cant say out coz u lack the courage to do so.

Well, I know u will definitely feel better aft a gd cry n u’ll need time n space for yourself so yup, I wont be bothering u for the time being alright? N I promise I wont ‘get u started’ again. *promise*. That girl I know is 1 damn strong ger..as a rower(physically), as a friend(emotionally)..and mentally as well. Yah..all those runs u completed time and time again. U sure deserve a pat on ya shoulders and..may I add, a BIG HUG! I still keep e SMS-es tt we send to one another everytime we go through an event when we feel we cld have very much done better and I do look at e SMS-es coz it keeps me gg when I’m down n out. Like hmm, our very first land time trial, e water time trial, e regatta. It’s saved in my hp in e 'sweet' section. =]

And yes, a smile does not mean u r happy, tt applies for laughter. But I don’t hide my feelings tt much. Maybe I bottle up stuff I wanna say, but I wont fake a smile, its too tiring for me to do so.

I realized tt when I’m sad, its written all over on my face. And so does it when I’m hungry---e ‘hungry’ look, or when I’m happy, it’s e toothy smile spread across my face. Yes, there are times when the ‘stressed’ look appears on my face when I cant get my stuff done well and done properly. And today, I realized..nono..it was Serene who pointed out to me tt I’ve got a ‘whiny’ expression. Big question gg on in my head—Am I getting more whiny recently? Hmm, I guess NOT..ahahahaha. No, really, I’m not as whiny a person as I seem. It’s juz uhm..maybe the weather or wad tt is the cause of my whininess recently. Hahahaha. No, seriously, I’m not getting more whiny. Like, seriously(in my tone).

The past 2 days have been great. I psyh-ed myself to be mentally prepared not to earn a seat for diz MR500 race coz I felt that there were many more worthy lefties who deserved e seat. U can say tt I doubted my abilities. I don’t deny it. Was quite surprised to earn a seat N b selected as pacer but I know with angeline aka lele to guide n help me out, I’d b fine.

Today there were 3 sets I rowed in. Yah, of course i felt disappointed after e 2nd set coz like, it kinda meant we were outta e Women’s Open Final. And I kinda felt guilty tt cannot pull long though I know tt in a sprint n as a front pack it isn’t tt possible to pull as long. But, erm, e longest I pulled during e entire race wasn’t even e length of e shortest strokes we do for normal trg( u get it?). I remembered wenya n meiping coming to ask me, ‘are u ok?’ aft tt set n hmm..i managed a ‘yah’ response though deep down inside, hmm..upset. Then we received news tt we actually qualified for Finals coz a team was disqualified for cutting lane n it was like, diz ray of hope for a comeback.

We rowed in e Finals n though the results weren’t spectacular, we did put up a gd fight. The Men’s team, from what I heard, did a brilliant last charge tt got them 1st place for Men’s Open. N it was quite funny coz we were doing cool down n ½ e team weren’t ard but was instead watching n supporting e guys team n yunshan said she felt a little ‘lack of love’. But the guys really did very well. Congratulations to all.

Prize presentation. David said to me, “Cindy, gd done arh” and I gave him the half puzzled; half ‘am chiou’ expression. I knew instantly that he meant ‘Gd job, well done’ but somehow when it came out of his mouth, it became ‘gd done’. And I giggled n told meiping bout it n she said, ‘don’t so bad leh, always laugh at him’ But who wouldn’t laugh at tt?

At e end of the 2 days, I realized its not e starts tt comes into my head instantly when I look back. It’s all e pats on e shoulder; e ‘eh jiayou ah!’; e passing of water/glucose b4 and aft a race, e hugs; e ‘are u ok?’; e focus-ing moments tt runs through my head. I could go on listing more but, e point is, it just feels so nice to be in a team, to feel as a team. To let one another know tt hey, we are around n we can help u out if u need it. To show concern n be shown concerm. Yup, I really love these people. E little things they do, e great things they do. Every little thing matters, really. Aww man.. =] Yup we do diz as a team, we do tiz for e team. Life is beautiful.