i dun have anything else to say.

a hug n a word of thanx to all 29 of them.

often, the juniors say 'dun juz row for urself, row for the snrs who cant row anymore' but do u realise how much we snrs wanna row for u as well?

i'm blessed to have been part of tiz team for 3 yrs. 3 freaking yrs.

ytd was a.. yah.. day. Yah means, i cant find a word to describe it. had the opportunity to row in the ivp set. the set was ok, juz tt there was a lack of agressiveness. i cant say for sure if we underestimated our opponents. personally, i felt we underperformed due to living up to expectations. All the unnecessary expectations tt were placed upon us, had unknowingly made us worried, tensed up. I didnt see it coming. We came in 3rd last yr, n 3rd again diz yr. Why the astronomical difference in e intensity of sadness tt overwhelmed me?

Upon crossing the finishing buoy, it was juz a stunned moment. i wanted to pinch myself n ask, 'is this juz a bad dream?'..for the results certainly did not take care of itself. At least, not as i've expected. We've expected.

Expectations, expectations.

I forced back my tears. It's hard not to cry n feel sad abt the outcome. But we cant b deluded into thinkin tt since we've trained hard, we deserve to clinch gold. Bcoz other teams have trained equally hard. For tt, we muz salute them for their efforts. Congrats to tp n ntu for a gd fight.

Then came the women's opens. And the mixed ivps. Not what we've expected.

Expectations, expectations.

I started to ask God, 'Why?' But at the same time, held on firmly to my faith tt there's definitely a reason why He made tiz happen. Again, i held it back when i saw the opens crew debriefing. Even on shore, i felt them fighting every moment of it. once again, there were teams who did better than us, n as a result we cld not qualify for the opens finals.

2 out of 3 goals unattained. 1 to go.

Expectations.

PM Cup was next. We had a thrash out session b4 tt. I mentioned abt expectations. I talked abt having fun. Not being afraid. Our greatest fear is not tt we r inadequate; our greatest fear is tt we r powerful beyond measure. I'm glad the session did us gd.

PM cup line up was announced. in e morning, i told wenya, wt n jo. 'i think i'm gonna cry ltr. my contacts r giving me problems, really. they replied, 'u dun give excuses la'

Hearing manda's voice. lijun's calling. it was juz a rather emotional moment. frm tt moment, it was sheer faith, believe, n trust. Some things r worth fighting for, n to protect.

some last words tt remained etched in my head b4 gg down for the last set of my life.

'Girl, Come on! i dun wan to see that look on ur face..what u did juz now, it's already over. i wan u now to go out there, row n have fun, u hear me?'

'I dunno if tiz helps, but u gals haven't won a gold for ivp b4, so..yah.'

We took the longest road juz to make it harder
Let's do it all again
It only makes us stronger -Dreams, Diana Degarmo-

We got it back. With every stroke we pulled further away frm our worthy opponents, but closer to the finishing buoy. though e gold was smtg v meaningful n is hard-earned by each rower, i gave mine away for reasons only she knows.

With a hug to each, i officially bow out of tiz brilliant team. Just as a beautiful chapter will always meet a full-stop n have to end some where within e pages. i dun always say tiz, but maybe i shd.

i
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love
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u

i asked rang b4 we departed ytd, 'wld u rather have lost the ivp n won the PM cup, or won the ivp n lost the PM cup?'

both our answers were unanimous.

感谢你让我更坚强，有你在身旁