My room, My mess, My business

3pm--30/04/05[Today!] marks the end of my exams. So its another semester down, at least in terms of exams. Arghh, tt's a damn 4 more sems to go!! E last paper was my GEK1012--Contemporary Social Issues in Singapore. I thought my answers were quite brief n i didnt elaborate much. And den, aiyah, got sooo much to write for e 1st part[short qns] but i think i kinda dropped n den for e sect B which has 1 essay qn consisting 40%, i cldnt think of much to write. Anyway, time didnt permit me to write tt much either. But it doesnt matter! i'm so looking forward to e hols! Woohoo! I'm gonna/wanna..

-take up driving lessons
-take my 3* kayaking course
-take up level 2 rock climbing
-climb a mountain
-do voluntary work
-stay in library and read many good books
-borrow vcds to watch all those movies i wanted to watch but had no time
-go central library n watch some audio/visual stuff, like Dead Man Walking
-trg trg trg[oh tiz one's compulsory actually hah]

I actually intended to go for Novena at 515 today but den, erm, was kinda lethargic n tired aft e paper so in e end, i didnt go for it. And i consoled myself wif wad denise tells me, 'so long as God is here[points to my heart], its alright le' Ok, its self consolation. But then, i'd go tmr. Sunday Mass is an obligation hor, Novena is devotion to Our Lady, which is not obligatory to go but i have started gg 2 yrs ago n i kinda liked it so i continued gg whenever i can make it on Saturday. Ok, i'm trying so hard to defend myself n its so not working. *guilty look*

I really love the comic strip Baby Blues. Zoe n Hammie makes me grin. They are getting more n more mischievous, which makes it so fun n so nice to laugh about. They intentionally/unintentionally drive their parents nuts by being so naughty n i juz cant help but think my bro n i r equally mischievous. No lah, i believe its juz tt we got a child in everyone of us, so we like unintentionally make mum go angry. Like for instance, this happens quite often at home

Mum:ah boy ah, n ah girl, u both better go tidy up ur room. so messy!
Bro n I: Orh.
Mum: u all dun always 'orh orh orh' yet nv do anything about it ah
Bro n I unaminously: Orh

We are damn dao3 dan4 lah! hahah. N then we will secretly laugh to each other aft tt while mum gets so mad at us. Here's a sneak peek at my room, since i'm so bored. Eh its not tt messy lah, juz tt it WAS e exams period mah, so of course my whole study table will be scattered with stuff. I will make it a point to clear my room, erm, i cant tell u a definite time but i will do it. Anyway, if u notice very clearly, the wooden plague hanging on my door knob says, "My room, My mess, My business" hah rebel. Bleh. Damn i realised i need to revamp my notice board. Its seriously very out of date. GaoXing has been up there for almost 2 yrs le. Though he's still shuai, i really need to do up my notice board n sad to say, he's gonna make way for other more important notices.

My room, once u enter and turn right. Toshiba aircon


This is with the clothes on e side.Books spread all over the table



My Notice Board, with GaoXing's photo. =]


Still on e right, yup tt's my bed. JunJun on my bedside table, n yup, tt's piglet, my soft toy, which i sleep with every night.


My room, once u enter n look left. Toshiba TV, Toshiba Laptop. Haha n i happened to be e blogger website when i took e pic. Soft toys behind deedee.


Damn conducive rite? And a very comfortable place, though its a smaller room compared to my brother's. Its not about the size actually. I love my own room, my own private space. I guess tt's e reason y i cant study at home, too conducive, makes me feel too relaxed.

ups, n mostly downs

Before i start blogging proper, i wld on behalf on e clique like to apologize to guimei n kaiyan. Coz we wont be able to celebrate e labour day babies birthday on e actualy day itself, ie sunday. Guimei, not sure if u read my blog, but kaiyan, if u see tiz, yup, really sorry ah. All having exams. No actually, by 30th, jul, wen n i wld have finish our papers le. But guimei--ur 'wu yue yi hao' partner still got exams ah. And den e SIM pple also got exams. Anyway, i read ur blog, ky u say u still wanna be a teen rite? dun have to join wen's 2-0 club. Well, u can always stay in my 19 club!! Welcome welcome. 19 is a very nice number, hahahah. So long as we dun celebrate ur bdae, u r unofficially 19 mah. Maybe try to keep 4th May free hor, den we go celebrate with u. In e mean time, pls hint explicitly wad u want. If its within e budget n our means, we'd definitely get it for u all. =]

Having chalet on 20-22th May. Woohoo. A clique chilling out in chalet. So exciting. Let's booze man. N food!! Wen's speciality--mash potato wif cheese topping, here i come!! Early carbo load man. Opps.

Do not, i repeat, do NOT ask me how i got BBQ-ed to perfection for my paper today. Oh well, u can ask lah. No time to finish, some dunnoe how to do, tt's about it. But somehow I juz felt tiz sense of inner peace at e end of the paper when e invigilator said 'pens down' --oh yah, pls pronounce pens down properly. If not it sounds like pants down, which can be quite indecent. *lame moment* Anyway, back to wad i was saying..It's like, 'ok i leave it all in God's hands. Urs, not my will be done.' --inner peace.

I went for an evening swim aft coming home. I juz wanted to go de-stress n i've decided not to run for at least 3 weeks to see if it'll help in recuperating e shin splint. Swimming's gd. e doc said swimming does not impact e leg e way running would. Woah, i really miss swimming man, such a long time since i touched chlorine water. E darndest things i think of when swimming. 'Stroke by stroke, 1-2-3 n 4..1-2-3 n 4' the whole time i was swimming. My gosh, i'm gg crazy. Previously when i was swimming, it'll usually be some songs tt plays in my head, n now?

U noe, there's smth gd on tv! At least i think its gd. hahah. Well my expectations arent tt high coz i dun have SCV unlike some pple. If not, i'd probably watch HK drama serials n those Taiwan OuXiang Ju all day. E 9pm show on channel 8 is quite gd u noe? E one which stars Thomas Ong n Fann Wong. E last time they acted tgt was in tt show, zai jian ying guang lan. Tt was really like one of the most talk tv show last time lah! E next day in sch, we'd talk bout wad happened n all, n how Thomas Ong was so shuai. hahaha. Right now i think he's no longer charming as i perceived him to b when i was 10 yrs old. Why must it be tt we tell pple, 'i am 19 yrs OLD?' why cant i say, 'i am 19 yrs YOUNG?' Something to really think about.

To end of, here's a short note to all who r feeling depressed.. utterly n totally stressed. I am also feeling as shitified as u all are, really. Just tt i cant explain y i'm still so lame right now u'd probably think i'm ok. Funny isnt it? E days i'm lame, i'm considered normal. E days i keep very silent coz its not my day, tt's when i'm not tt normal n something's really wrong. U dun know how screwed i am till u see my CAP, which so happens to be white in colour and it's Nike, by the way. -_-" Ok, the pt is, i feel like diz pressurised cooker education institution is making us graduate into very unhappy adults indeed. I cant seem to find happiness in any particular spot in NUS. Talked to yirang while i was doing my cheat sheet[legal!] n was commenting to her tt at e rate we r gg, our society which we ourselves have created/ruined, is gonna be 1 tt's giving lotsa unnecessary stress on each n everyone of us. And tt expectations r rising so far beyond reach tt diz society is gonna evolve into 1 tt's made up of very unhappy adults--US. Makes me wonder, Cindy 1st yr in NUS--lame n crappy. Cindy 3rd yr in NUS--no longer lame n crappy. A very unhappy individual..in e making. In our GEK module, we discuss about goodness-of-fit. It means tt there is agreement and harmony--a 'fit'--between the person n the environment. I guess e misfit is gradually increasing.

By the way, u r not alone, seriously u arent. i guess it is through sadness tt we will know wad's e taste of happiness when we experience it. Quote for today, April 27th--Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. Thank u Denise, for tt a-quote-a-day calendar coz i asked for it last yr. Heh

if u wanna love, u muz 1st learn to forgive

i so wanted to change my msn nick to 'dun msg me unless i come to msg u..leave me alone' coz..i had 2 papers today. And, i dun think i need to elaborate further rite? Instead, i chanced upon diz quote when gg to teach tuition today. It's diz particular car tt has got quote printed on it. It said, 'If u wanna love, u must first learn to forgive. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow has yet to come. We only have today.' So i decided to use it as my nick instead. and i'm ok. I came home to have a 2hrs nap b4 gg out to teach tuition to my boyboy n girlgirl.

Actually e maths paper--linear algebra 2 wasnt tt bad, i mean, e 60%[section A] was compulsary qn n as promised by e lecturer, e qns were straightforward. den 40%[section B] 3 choose 2 qn..they r all proving qns as ald told by e lecturer. Proving..My weakest link. But i really kinda liked tiz particular maths module actually, compared to e killer Adv Cal which i am gonna take on Wed. Let's juz wait n see how i slowly get BBQ-ed to perfection.

CZ1102--problem solving n computation paper. Erm, i thought it was bad. Just bad. I hope e MCQ portion pull me up.

Next time i shall not say things too early. Ytd cheez yunshan n i had dinner. got a surprise McFlurry tt they dabao-ed back for me though i juz crapped when they asked if i wanted anything n i said 'ice cream', thinking they'll ignore such an odd order. Nice~ Anyway, i was thinking i better not say things too early. In e sense tt, i was offered a place in both arts n sci-ence aft applying for a place in nus aft i got my results. N den i chose sci-ence coz i wanted to take maths reason being tt 'i like maths'. But now, 2 sems almost coming to an end, n i'm really thinking, i shdnt say things too early. I cant say it with passion n conviction. I..lll..ll..love..*loathe maths. ha. N about teaching. Hah i better not say too early tt i wanna b a teacher coz 'i love teaching'. Anything can happen. It has happened, n for now i shall keep my fingers crossed. I shant say i like anything frm now, for fear tt e opposite will come true. I've learnt tt e 2nd most taboo qn to ask is 'what do u wanna do when u graduate'. the 1st most taboo qn is no doubt, 'do u wanna TP?' It beats all other qns hands down to take e top spot.

I just wonder how i can still be so lame amidst all e shit i'm gg thru now. Arghh. N i found out i'm extremely cock-eye recently tt it scares me. Like, thinking tt i saw 'facial wash' when it was actually 'hair conditioner' n happily washed my face with e hair conditioner. When i found out 1 hr ltr, it was somewhat like e scene in 'Home Alone'--u noe?? tt ARHHHHHH moment. It didnt help tt i had a pimple tt i juz burst e night b4.

So need to hit the books again.

wadever makes u happy

my 3rd, or is it.. 4th entry for e week. Ok, i give in. Whatever makes u happy alright? If snacking makes u happy coz its a source of comfort during such a stressful period, go ahead n eat. I shdnt deprive u all of being happy. After all, i juz want to be happy n seeing pple ard me happy makes me happy. So i shdnt be so mean. So, snack, but not too much hor. Meals are gd n healthier alternatives actually.

Yah, i tink i'm kinda defeated in some sense. So many against me, hrmpf. Soon, soon..'if u cant be them, join them' will apply. And i'd be snacking too. Hah no, not so fast man. After all, my stubborn nature will see me through. Yes, i wont snack.

I realise many of us are emotionally wreck. I am too. I am so emotionally exhuasted from all e mugging, really. N it doesnt help tt yih's food dont make me happy. My mantra is tt 'eating makes me happy'[does NOT include snacking btw] but seriously, the food at yih turns me off. Yuck. And tt's y i keep gg on n on about sci-ence and e katsu n e high class wafers. Coz for diz sem, a typical tues/fri wld see me eating a high class wafer aft e notorious Adv Cal lect where i'd walk out so pissed off and so mad wif e lecturer tt i need food to make me happy. High class wafer does its job, makes me light up n let tiz smile emerge across my face aft i eat.

Today geoks, wendy n i went to sci-ence to have lunch, aft wendy n i did gym. We cannot bear another day of unappealing food so we asked who wanna come join us eat at sci-ence n geoks joined. Woah, wendy intended to order 2 high class wafers[take away for meiping n yunshan], an ice cream wafer for herself[as dessert] n a meal[fish n chips or smth, not too sure] but e uncle was so slow n he cocked up her order, so in e end, he juz served her wafers w/o her main course. N poor wendy claimed tt she was ald full frm all e waiting. Well i guess hao de dong xi shi zhi de deng. Gd things r worth waiting for. Anyway, if i were her, i'd be damn pissed off lah. No food vendor shd cock up my order. I juz have to say, different pple have different things tt they place emphasis on n get angry when it isnt done their way. [For instance, Joey in friends doesnt share food. 'JOEY DOESNT SHARE FOOD!' and he gets really mad when pple takes stuff from his plate to eat] Of e many things i emphasize on, it's food. It has to be right, at least, u gotta put ur heart into what u cook and present it as best as u can with e limited ingredients n resouces u have. In short, it's about taking pride!

Anyway, i think i got high on whip cream. Woo hoo, wendy was really kind to share the ice cream wafer with us n well, well, i was so damn high lah. for ur info, ice cream wafer is served wif whipped cream on e sides of e wafer. Wendy complained tt e uncle seemed to have no control n kept spraying non-stop but i was so happy my eyes lit up when i saw e amt of whipped cream. Hmm, geoks n wendy dun like whipped cream, so..hahahaha. Actually, its not tt i wanna clear e whipped cream, i mean, they can have it if they wanted to u noe..but.[ok dun pretend anymore hahaha] yup, woo hoo, high on whipped cream man! And there goes e sit ups i did in gym. Eh but seriously, its been quite some time since i had whipped cream lah. And i juz suddenly remembered how e clique gave me a bottle of whip cream on my 18th bdae. Woo hoo, at home when open e fridge, juz take e can of whipped cream, aim, and spray into my mouth. Shiok man! *hint* Opps. No lah, its very fattening actually. Say 'No!' to whipped cream, n snacking. Ah huh.

Well at least there r stuffs to make me smile about despite all e exams n all..sigh

Stop snacking!

To all who are studying, either in yih or somewhere else in campus or at home. Stop snacking while u r studying!! Snacking's bad, really it is. I know it keeps u awake coz u've got ur mouth occupied, but it isnt healthy n its gonna make u gain weight. And if only losing weight was as easy as gaining..

So i say, Every SNACK u eat will be matched with a SMACK! ahahaha. Yup, tt bag of loot is labelled temptation! Stop looking at it! Take it away. After all, out of sight; out of mind.

Ahh, the thing about Red Bull. Red Bull does give you wings. But no1 said anything about keeping ur eyes open. My body feels so energised, yet my eyes are sooo tired n dry it almost feels like there's a burning sensation. So, wad can i do when my eyes go against my body? Of course i have to sleep rite? Close my eyes now..ahh, sleep. Finally slept aft staying up the whole night..took a 20-40min nap at 7am. Oh let me comment something about the Red Bull incident. It's damn exciting lah! Ytd i was feeling a lil tired n had wanted to buy a drink frm e vending machine aft studying for quite a while. So i walked out of e yih to e nearest vending machine[e one near the tv room]. And as usual, i was stoning. Just standing in front of e vending machine thinking wad i shd have when suddenly, 2 ladies came up to me and said, 'Hey, i see tt u r thinking of wad drink to have. Why not have a Red Bull? Red Bull gives u wings and helps u to stay up late to study!' Wow, it was chilled. And more importantly, it was FREE. Woahhh, my eyes lit up instantly. How nice. David Tao's motto is so true, "expect nothing. everything that happens is an added bonus." E next moment i asked yunshan n wenya to go out n get the FREE Red Bull. Hey man, it costs $2.60 when they sell it outside n now its free leh, n chilled some more. It must have been God-sent. for sure.

I've concluded, aft studying overnight wif yunshan, tt she's mean. She's mean, i'm median, and yirang's mode. hahahaha. yup, ok lame. Yah she actually went to google to search for an article to back up wendy's point tt piglet is gay! And she sent the link to me on msn n asked me to go check it out. But damn, the article was really funny lah! Apparently, the article claims tt Pooh, Piglet n Christopher Robin are in a love triangle relationship. It's worth reading, FOR A GOOD LAUGH. =] but dun believe everything in it. It's really juz a distortion of smth so innocent, like Winnie the Pooh Classics? Oh man. The article says tt Eeyore secretly likes Piglet coz of his 'small size' wah...okie. Doesnt sound quite rite~ Here's the link lah. u can check it out but seriously, dun believe in tt.

http://passingtwice.com/piglet.html

Once again, i feel very unsatisfied. I feel damn pissed off when i pay $ for food and the food isnt worth wad i paid. I mean, for goodness sake, pls take pride in the food you serve. I dont mind paying $3.50, or even more, if your food is gd. But let me say tiz, e sandwich at munchie tt we bought as supper was seriously, worth $2 the most. It was pathetic. Really pathetic. At least we chose a nice spot[e stairs] to eat our supper and chit-chat a bit.

Ah it feels so gd, to finally have a decent and yummy-licious breakfast aft quite a while. We had breakfast at Engin Mac today! Talk about the hash browns..woohoo! Nice. At least tt's smth to be egg-cited about, though i ordered e filet-o-fish meal which does not have eggs served. Hahah.

peer pressure

iso's really damn influential, hahaha. So now its wendy, iso n me in yih n she managed to convince us tt blogging takes away the stress from mugging. So now, at the time of 146pm, all 3 of us are BLOGGING, at YIH. Peer pressure..haha no lah. its not peer pressure. Just tt i'm a lil bored from e maths tt i'm doing, n e slow progress i've made. Well, at least slow means i really take loads of time to digest n to understand my stuff..i hope. *cross fingers*

2 more days to the start of my exams. argh. 1st paper--LSM1304 microbes environment n man. I think i'm supposed to memorise a whole lot of bio stuff n juz vomit everything out, and i hope my memory dun fail me. I hate to memorise actually. I thought i've been past tt stage since sec sch when we were supposed to memorise the meanings of chinese words, but apparently not i guess. Urgh.

Well, i'm staying over today in e freezer! Yup, freezer. Ok, yih. wadever. I'd probably shift out to warmer pastures when its late in e night n the temperature falls. Warmer pastures--the study benches outside e study room. At least its warm there and my legs[below my calves] wont feel so cold.

I think about wad i'd be doing after e exams. At least it is smth tt makes me look forward to e exams, coz aft the exams, ahhahaha. Yup, on e to-do list are---colour my hair!! get some colour instead of black. haha. And maybe i'm gonna take up driving lessons. And, and..i wanna learn how to play the harmonica too! And, i wanna climb a mountain!! Maybe Berkelah Falls? Or Mt Kinabalu? Woohoo. I hope i dun break a leg. =]

Oh yah, wendy's really nice man. She gave out gd luck pencils to us today! And mine's piglet! Yea!! a piglet pencil. It's pink. N yah, piglet is NOT gay alright?
Although piglet does housework n wears a purple scarf ard his neck, he's not gay. He is in some ways like me. hahah. Ok tt is, both of us r juz as shy. And we dun really like to bathe..hahah

deprivation is good

camped overnight at yih to study ytd and i must say, deprivation IS good. To be deprived of the comforts of a soft nice bed, sweet smelling pillow, deedee, n the television. The trade off?? Accomplishing more. Yup more work was done den i actually planned for e night. Parents dont really like it tt i 'book in' to sch at 8pm to stay, but i've got no choice. I'm on a mission. I'm not gg back to sch to play, n tt's y i didnt even bring my deedee, coz i noe it'll probably be a source of distraction.

If there's 1 thing i'll miss e least about yih, it'll definitely be the air con. Air conditioning is gd, no one said it was bad, but step into yih n experience e freeze-ur-ass-off feeling, n u noe how deadly it can get. For the whole time there, i was wearing 3 layers of clothes. E db ladies polo tee, my crescent windbreaker, and the teamNUS jacket. That managed to keep me reasonably warm, if not for sitting on my hands e whole time. Just slog n mug, slog n mug..and in between as a form of relaxation i asked yunshan if i cld view all e photos in her laptop. Woohoo, now i noe y she was amazed tt i only had such a small collection of photos. Hers is juz folders aft folders of pics lah. Mine compared to hers is like hmm, bukit timah hill compared to Everest. Ok bad analogy. hahaha. =] Kz anyway, hmm, its juz semesters aft semesters of pictures. N yup, its so damn funny to see tt typical young n innocent looks when everyone was in 1st yr. Damn, i hope we make sure we get rid of all e 'si gina' pictures b4 we get laughed at in future. Karma man. But its super embarassing lah. Some moments i'd just start breaking out into suppressed gaffaws. Yup, may i emphasize on e word 'suppressed'. I had to, if not i'd get kicked out of yih for making excessive noise.

Some photos were really hillarious. Like there was diz photo where boon chin was balancing a lollipop with each eye, or..or..ok i better not say anymore. *zip* hahahaha. And she let me see diz slide show tt e OSA put up last yr for e dragonboat team but told me b4 hand, 'ladies team only featured a small part in e slide show, dont expect much'. Yup, its true, we arent as regarded compared to e guys team. We arent as recognised, but ahh well, life's like tt. Mainly featured last yr's june race, a lot on e PM cup, a short part was on e ladies team. And may i comment about the cheesy background music. It's really..so cheesy. -_-" But despite the short part of e slide show which featured e Ladies IVP race, it was so magically done up. Ok, well it was enuf to make me, 'WOAH!' aft watching. So moving. Close to tears but no, i didnt tear. It was more of like, awe-inspiring. woahh. Seriously, beyond words man. There were shots of e emotional side, e girls all breaking into hugs, n into tears upon their victory. Hey, looks like everyone has active tear ducts yah?

I attempted to sleep by 145 so tt i wont past my sleeping time at 2am but in e end, i past it and only managed to clock about 2 hrs of sleep, here n there. The part of my legs below e calves were so cold n cant be protected by any jacket wadsoever. In the end i decided to walk out to e study bench where cheez n meiping were studing n plonk there to rest. Just plonked, face down, stomach down. It's not gd to sleep like tt but ahh well. Normally i sleep sidewards actually. Tt was when i managed to sleep a lil b4 gg back to study.

Soon it was time for breakfast n we cld be considered e 1st customer today. Serene, meiping yunshan n i had breakfast at 715. Breakfast topic 2 times in a row--names. Last Tues we talked about it, and today we also dwelled into tt topic. Ah yes, wendy's gonna call her daughter meili, so tt she'll be known as 'meili de ma ma' in future. hahhahaah. We concluded tt the one of the worst things u can do as a parent is to intentionally/unintentionally give ur kid a funny name. Like xiao ming, when he becomes 87 yrs old, will he still be called xiao ming? or lao ming?? What if xiao ming is no longer small? How?? I'm glad i'm called xin di, though its juz a direct translation of my english name coz my parents didnt know chinese tt well. At least it goes well with shan liang, haha xin di shan liang. kind hearted, how true. Opps, sorry i abit high. We had e breakfast set and the eggs didnt really get us egg-cited (excited) at all. Some were too cooked, while some were not well cooked resulting in e runny yolk seeming like mucus when we poured it on e saucer. Eeew. Told ya ald, auntie's control of the huo3 hou4 is quite bad nowadays. Even some parts our toasted bread is chao tah. Some day when i retire, i'm gonna show e world what's it like to make GOOD toasted bread. N EXCELLENT hard-boil eggs. n THICK BLACK coffee tt perks up ur day. Btw, my retirement plan--to sell toasted bread, or sell gao luk[fried chestnuts] or sell tutu kuey.

I was asked over breakfast about my plans. So am i gonna stay or switch? My answer: depends on results. If its not so gd, i'll switch. Follow-up qn: What do u mean by not so gd? I stumbled upon tt qn. Will a grade below B-[for my maths module tt is] a gd gauge? I dunnoe, esp for my tt Adv Cal module. I cant see 3D stuff for nuts!! Geometric Objects in 3D spaces r my biggest stumbling block, and its not like anyone can help me. It's either u can see, or u cant see. I happen to be the one who cant see. And e beatitudes dont work here--Happy r those who cant see yet believe. Ok, i'm lame, again. I cant be happy not being able to see. If i cant see, i cant do e qn. I cant approach e qn. I need a miracle to happen. 3rd question[tt came aft i once again talked about e motivation of gg on a trip overseas aka tourism.] Qn went, 'Eh Cindy, why arent u in Arts ah? Like seriously?' My answer: Because sometimes we follow our head n not our heart. *someone interjects with a lame comment which will b ack-nored* ha! I guess i followed my head, n now i'm contemplating if i shd actually follow my heart. Ah well, hey folks, study. Now's not the time to think of anything else man!

F for Fu*k, & F for Flags!

hmm how shd i start? erm..*thinks a while*..thanks ghost, for leaving a comment n showing ur concern. ha it really dun sound tt right actually, to thank a ghost?? Anyway I know its U. Hmm, thank u, so sweet man. =]

Anyway, i juz came home from a JC clique gathering cum meet up. Apparently, chonglong is gonna be enlisted next friday, so he planned diz gathering. 4 guys--chonglong, wenjun, chengwang n benjamin[no, tiz is not my brother btw] n 3 girls--lipin, fanelle n i went. wenjun, chengwang n benjamin r ald in e army for a yr ald, n they were practically shooting 'fuck' as if it was free or wad, over dinner table. A typical sentence wld go, 'walau, damn fucked up lah' or 'tell them go fuck off' or 'i dun mean to be a fucker' [well, u ald are lah!] but anywayz, 3 of us were like so amazed. Like, woahhh..ok. N i think the ultimate was 'fuck CB KNN'[i am not gonna type out wad does CB or KNN is lah..i tink u'd all noe] wahhh, best. I have ntg to say man. well chengwang is better coz he's in e commandos n in there they dun have e culture of hurling vulgarities, well maybe a bit but not as much. But wenjun, wah seh, hopeless case man. Hey bro, wad happened man?

I think its ok if u use e f word, juz not too excessively lah.

Ok, this is meant to be a short post. I just wanna blog about my collection. People collect stuff, for some its stamps, for others its hello kitty magnets[ha!], or for others its McDonalds toys. My collection is a really gd one, its about giving from the heart every saturday. It started since sec 2, when i had my shoebox which contained my polished boots. And aft trg every sat we'd go orchard to hang out n we'd bump into pple selling flags n so we'd donate coz it's like an immunity once u got a flag aka sticker. Aft tt, nobody can attack u. So i began pasting e flag on my shoebox. Today the collection has extended to another shoebox. It started with e Adidas shoebox, n now its my Teva shoebox. Believe me, when u see e pic, e Adidas shoebox, the stickers are everywhere, at least on e outer part of the shoebox. It's one of my treasured possession, my bao bei. Anyway, an appeal to kind souls who actually donate n get e sticker. Pls let me noe who u r, [coz there r some saturdays when i leave e house too early or i cant be bothered to donate to those who juz stand there n expect me to donate], i may need u all to help me keep e flag for tt particular week. Help me stand by can? Well, or if not, u can start a collection by urself too. Y not? It's an inexpensive hobby, really. And it's about how much u give, from the heart.

Argh, anyway, i realised u cant ling shi bao fuo jiao[meaning to grab hold of the Buddha's foot and beg him to do smth for u during e last min]. It doesnt work. Well maybe it works a lil but it wont work totally. Rmb ytd i said i attempted to eat more fruits to boost my immunity system? It helped, at least now i realise i'm down wif a mild cold, running nose. If not for the fruits i'd probably have a bad cold. All YIH AIR CON'S FAULT! Ah well, nah shan't put the blame on external factors. Its my fault for not having enough protection. I really shd put on more jackets to weather the cold 'weather'[happens to be winter] in yih. Urgh damit!

This is my collection so far. Far left: my expanded collection. Teva shoe box.

Top row, extreme right. The flag is actually NUS Flag Day 99--12th July 1999. Dont ask me which one is the very first flag i collected, i'm trying to recall actually.=]

Side view of my Adidas shoebox. Told ya, every possible place to paste e flag is occupied.

now i noe y i cant be a social worker

yup, now i know why i cant be a social worker. I mean, i do have wad it takes, at least in terms of patience n a listening ear, but darn, i faulter. Today, someone told me something tt happened in her life. Nope, i'm not gonna reveal what exactly it is coz its up to her if she will let out the news. The thing is, the more she said about it, e sadder i got. And at first, i was the one asking, 'so, r u ok?', but den later, she became the one asking, 'hmm, r u ok?' coz i've got tiz really upset look on my face n damn, those active tear ducts!! Arghh, yup, i cried. I'm so damn emotional lah! wad to do? EQ high is like tt one mah. N i felt so sad.. Then again, i thought of e quote, Dont cry becoz its over, smile becoz it happened.

Like hello?? I'm supposed to be the one who is strong and to play the role of a comforter, or at least, juz to be there n be strong, but in the end it turned out that she ended up asking if i was alright. Can u imagine what will happen if i'm a social worker n my clients start telling me bout their life story n i start weeping? Walau, seriously.

Anyway, on e brighter side of things, i realised tt kids love me! hahahaha. Yes its true. Today while taking bus 198 to school, there was this 2-yr-old kid sitting in front of me. Her mum was carrying her so it meant tt e lil girl was facing me. This 'lil girl suddenly turned and looked in my direction and as usual, i'd give e toothy grin n attempt to make kids laugh by making all kinds of funny faces. And yup, she laughed. Well, she smiled. N den she extented her index finger to me, n i did likewise. It was like the scene in ET, and we actually joined n touched each other's fingers. Aww man. It was so sweet. N most kids juz love to grip my finger. It's really so heart-warming when they wrap their hand round my finger. Those little fingers, so small, yet the grip/cling can be quite tight actually. I just love kids! Ok, not those pesky kids tt yell to the top of their voices, but those adorable ones.

Oh n 1 last thing, YIH is really freezing cold. I was so 'fortunate' today to take the ultimate freezer seat, sitting under 2 air cons which was like full blast or smth. And i had to look like some jay chou imposter/poseur putting on e hood attached to the teamNUS jacket. Still, it was cold. Brrr. No matter how i sat on my hands to provide some warmth, it was still..hmm, COLD! My nose started running n mucus juz came out. I hope wad i think is not true, tt is, i hope i'm not falling sick. Coz i experienced signs of falling sick ytd. Well, today, to make sure i really dont fall sick, i ate an orange in e morning, ate a slice of watermelon for lunch, and bought carrot-apple juice to drink at YIH. Make sure there's xtra dose of vitamin C to boost the immunity system. Brought deedee[my laptop] to sch today n let yunshan see all e pics i have taken so far. Eh, much to her surprise, she realised tt i dun really take so many pictures aft all. Hahaha. Yup, not as many as she expected it to be. This can only mean 1 thing, u all have gotta take more pics lah! So i can have more pics in my computer.

of powtou-ster n overnight stay

oh man, i'm supposed to blog at least 4 times a week, haha, n tiz is only my 2nd entry for e week!? Wahh, seriously busy lah. But aint it sad? To get an update of my life by reading my blog, when u can actually juz call/talk face-to-face to ask how m i doing. ahh well.

Anyway, i've juz came back from sch aft surviving a 2 hrs lect 10-12pm. Ytd, we camped in sch. To quote wenya, we 'kamt' in school.[wah seriously, u r not lame, but juz extremely crappy lah. And may i add, very high also!] Wendy, geoks, mona, meiping, yirang n i studied till late n we juz conked out one by one, i tink i was e most mafan one coz i kept sleeping, n waking up, n search for another opportune time to sleep coz i've ald past my sleeping time.

To elaborate a lil bout ytd--last land trg. Someone had to be a powtou-ster again. Reputable for being a powtou-ster. Note: powtou-ster is different from pao toaster hahahha. it sounds the same but they r totally different. I dunnoe why but some pple had to all of a sudden blurt out tt i like guys with thick eyebrows, n dare to say tt its an open secret. Hello? It wasnt an open secret until u opened e secret~ Hrmpf. [N while i was walking u back to yih, u still dare to defend urself? hah!] N all of a sudden there was some match-making session taking place right aft tt. Wahhh, my goodness. seriously, *pengz* Anyway, gym today 45-60. I grin to myself at e shoulder press n inclined press stn coz i thought bout wad i replied iso at yih aft she gave me e pocky n told me to keep pressing on.[Thanks iso, u r sweet man!=] I sms-ed back, "Shoulder press n inclined press will definitely keep me pressing on!" Woah. But shoulder press today was quite unbeareable. no worries, will definitely press on, aft e exams.

For e run today, well, it was SO COOL! Ok i'm nuts, as usual. I mean, we ran ard e track n stopped at e quadragle to do circuits but wad made it extremely brilliant was e lightning lah! I thought i was Benjamin Franklin or smth, finding e right time to do some experiment to find out about electricity. So, where's e kite and the key attached to the string? N the backdrop was so suitable to shoot MTV!! Imagine this: Reddish sky, about to rain; Lightning flashing across e sky every 20-30 sec; db ladies team encouraging one another to 'hang in there' n 'jiayou' for each set tt we did. It'll be gd to run in e rain. I love running in e rain. Ok, i noe its highly likely to fall sick, but a little rain wont kill. N besides, its soaking up[literally] nature's wonder. But anyway, we seeked shelter b4 the lightning threatened to make one of us a chow-tah chicken. Yup, it was definitely dangerous though, come to think of it.

Dinner at Munchie's. Actually i was kinda hoping it'll be like last yr where we'd eat xiu tau pok at clementi central. And i was so craving for zai lai ba chor mee! But coz it was quite inconvenient, we settled for Munchie's. N i read wenya's blog bout last yr 28/10/04--last trg. Haha ok karma comes to a full circle i guess. Last yr i accidentally malu-ed her by saying, 'u wanted to say *censored word* rite?' n she said she wont forgive me for tt. Well, today she has to powtou me. Ah, anyway after dinner, we mugged at conference room. I realised tt of all e 3 times i stayed over in nus, i cant get a gd sleep. I'd juz past my official sleeping time[2am] and den i'd have to wait for another opportune time b4 e sleeping sensation comes back to me. N i finally noe y i can easily KO at home. It's because of the smell of my pillow, e familiarity, n of course, Piglet[my soft toy]. And also because i strongly believe my bed has magical powers. Many who have came to lay on my bed[eg Dad, Mum, Lipin, n i cant remember who else] juz lay on my bed a while n soon, they unknowingly fall asleep just like tt.  It's kinda like an instant effect. 2-3min lying on my own bed n tt's it. Off to lala land. I think i only managed to sleep at 3plus, aft being adviced to take e sleeping bag n sleep on e floor, since the chairs n e couch didnt work.

Anyway, i juz thought this photo is damn hillarious. No, actually it aint hillarious. It juz made me think bout the 'Many Helping Hands' approach tt we learn in our GEK module. 'Many Helping Hands' approach is the Singapore's govt way of reaching out n helping e lower income groups. Basically, its not juz e govt tt help, but different grps, such as religious organisation, NCSS, CDCs etc come tgt and chip in to help. In short, everyone helps. Ah well, tt sounds really crappy and all. hahaha. Ok, well this is teamwork in action, actually. It happened last saturday at yih, when meiping accidentally spilled her can of nescafe coffee on e table. And den all of us suddenly sprang into action, n i managed to capture e moment. Talk about TP. haha anytime's a gd time. I wished my hand was in e pic too, but ha, i was e one taking e photo, so, yup. Speaking of yih, walau, e temp there is freaking cold lah. Studied there e whole day b4 trg n i felt like my legs were aching, like suffering frm rhumetism or smth. It's tt kinda aching sensation. Terrible sia.

night run

Seriously, I think I am nuts. I received an sms frm yirang at 830 when I juz finished bathing. Msg said, ‘wanna go for a run’ and I replied ‘Huh now?? Erm, ok. Ha’ I think I’m nuts coz I didn’t think it’ll be possible tt I’d be running twice this week, but so happen pple jio me den juz go lor. Furthermore, I juz had dinner an hr ago, b4 she msg-ed me. But yah, juz agreed to meet in 10 min time. Place to meet was rudder ambiguous. We were gonna meet at e crossroad in btwn e street that connects st. 64 and st. 65. We started running and I must say, there are really no slopes in jurong! Maybe coz jurong was once a swamp and they juz reclaim the land by filling n so, jurong is juz flat land. Ok, yup, we ran the bus 243[white] route and there was a slope but I dun think its worthy being called a slope.

But I must say, it was a rather fun experience. Breathing in e jurong air at night. And after the run, we decided to get a drink from Pioneer Mall. It’s this new shopping mall in e neighbourhood, n its juz opposite yirang’s house. We went to Giant to get our drinks coz we wanted to save some $. We really saved lotsa $. Bought 2 cans of green tea n a bottle of 1 litre orange juice tt cost 99 cents. The total bill came up to $1.95 only! Ok, there was lotsa liquid lah! My gosh! Really, a lot! Averagely, we needed to drink 800ml of stuff to finish up wad we bought. We wanted to hydrate ourselves but opps, bought too much. We talked and crapped and lame ard at e rooftop carpark which was so cool man! Just pretended e can drinks was beer n yam seng-ed n den we juz drank n drank n drank up e 1 litre orange juice. And I actually said she cld sing ‘wu ding’ at the rooftop carpark. Big mistake! Urgh. I triggered her to sing songs aft songs. but yah, we talked n crapped at e rooftop carpark n it was really nice, juz downing e drinks we had n talking n thinking bout how we can actually have a BBQ at the rooftop carpark.

Oh, i wore my white cap to go for e run. And yirang gave me the 'u-poseur' look when i walked towards her. N first thing tt came out frm her mouth was 'eh, moonlight very bright tonight is it?' n i explained tt e reason y i was wearing a cap was coz i very bu gan yuan tt i wont get to utilise e cap diz week, so die die also wanna wear. furthermore, its for safety reasons. Wear bright clothings so tt motorist can see mah. So u see, its not always about making a fashion statement. Oh yup, realised blogger has been down ytd. So here's 2 entries at one go lah.

Long ramblings

back to home sweet home. I had a 3 hr nap to catch back on lost sleep coz i past my sleeping time ytd. wad a pig! Hmm, let me type out my kid's compo for some comic relieve. Things tt make me laugh. And, damn i tink i am a bad english tuition tcher. I teach my p4 kid eng maths n science. He scores like 96 for maths[maths major muz of course produce maths whiz hahaha], science he scores 70+, and for english, arghh, its the 62+ kinda marks. So here's e compo, e orginal version. No amendments made.

Things tt make me laugh No. 1:(my tuition kid's essay)
Last Tuesday, my mother was alone at home because my mother had been fired by her boss. She was too boring and she went to switch on the television to watch. When she was going to switch on the television, she heard the door bell ring, "Ding-Dong". She went to open the door and saw a saleman. The saleman tell my mother that he had a cookbook and he told my mother that he wanted to teach my mother how to cook. My mother immediately said okay because she was too bored.

When the saleman went in, he immediately closed the door and took out a knife from his bag and pointed to my mother. The saleman tied my mother with a rope and gagged my mother mouth. The saleman went into my mother and father room to find all the valuables. The saleman saw a lot of valuables and the saleman was very happy.

He went to the living room and ransacked the living room. He could not find any valuables and he decided to leave the house. He look through the pin hole first before leaving. There was no person outside he then opened the door.
Just then, my father came back from work and he saw a man comeing out from his house and hid and saw what happened. My father saw my mother was been tied up and gagged. My father immediately went toward the door and my father had caught the saleman. He shouted for helped to his neighbour and the neighbour came out and saw my father grabbed hole the man. My father told my neighbour to grabbed hold this man first because my father wanted to help my mother to untie the rope and helped her to ungag her mouth. My mother called the police. The policeman reached and sent the fake saleman to the police station. My mother was relieved. My father thank my neighbour for helping him. My mother would not dared to let stranger to come in again.

-end of compo-

I let jul, wen, meiping n yunshan read e compo when they were at yih. Same response for all, ranging from a grin to uncontrolled laughter. Haiyah wad to do?? tell me man. I mean, the flow of the compo is there, but his grammar ah, seriously, muz buck up man. Very inconsistent, 1 moment past tense, e other moment present tense. And if u noticed some parts, the sentence structure is directly translated frm chinese. See bold.

Things tt made me laugh no. 2:
And i just suddenly thought about e ride back to pgp. jason offered us a ride in his car n there was a '2nd yirang' in e car and yup, really buay tahan man. He blasted e sound system with this song sang by Zhou Jie Lun(zhu ni sheng ri kuai le) and just sang as if he was Jie Lun. In an enclosed space like the car, the voice was reverberating frm every single corner! Seriously, by tt time, 1230am, i almost switch off le. Couldnt be bothered to ask him to 'shuddup lah'. Incidentally, (zhu ni sheng ri kuai le) is a song tt yirang uses for jul. Jul ni sheng ri kuai le. arghhh. nvm.

I still cant believe i went for midnight run. Oh btw, it was e A2 route, not e A1 route we took. So it was different slopes we chiong-ed. my 2nd time staying over n i went for a run. Like seriously, am i nuts??

Things tt made me laugh no. 3:
I asked yunshan e million dollar qn while we[wen, her n i] were walking her out to her dad's car. 'Yunshan, do u wanna TP?' hahahahaha. She said if i cld find a camera tt instant, she would TP. Yup, i really brought my camera ytd lah, but at 12+, wasnt tt high le. It was juz a qian bian qn i suddenly wanted to ask.

Things tt made me laugh no. 4:
Dinner at yih ytd. Ntg to elaborate on. You juz had to be there to experience how cold it was there from all e cold jokes we cracked. Ok, but quite dangerous leh. Must make sure u have finished chewing and swallowing ur food b4 a joke is being made. If not ah, high chance of choking.

Things tt made me laugh no. 5:
Jul found out i cant multi task!! Boo hoo. I was chatting on msn and she started asking me some qn about some stuff and i juz 'urm..yes' and pretended to acknowledge and she found out. She went, 'r u listening? So u cant multi task ah?' and i admitted. It's quite funny in e sense tt i juz blindly nodded my head when she said stuff without actually processing wad she was saying. And she found out. Hrmpf.

Ok, yup, gotta thank jul n wen once again for letting me stay over last night. N minky is one really nice soft toy to cuddle to sleep. I managed to sleep at 4am aft getting back my sleepy mode[though i lost it once i past my sleeping time]. And yup, i liked it tt they left me to do my own stuff while they went to the conference room to study. Coz it goes to show i'm not imposing on u all n tt u dun need to deliberately entertain me coz i'm e guest. Well, once again, thank u hosters! =] N btw jul, pls dun feel bad tt i didnt use e pillow, or e bed. I am fine with my ziplock bag filled with clothes as a substitute for pillow. N wen, told ya i would take e floor no matter how u insist tt i take e bed.

y am i not sleeping?

argh, yup, i have past my sleeping time again. N now i cant sleep. So i'm blogging in jul's hostel using her keith[name of her lappie]. Where is she? hmm she's studying wif wen for their psych test. Y have i past my sleeping time? Gd qn! That's because i said 'anything' when wenya asked if i wanted to go for a midnight run and so, yup soon there were mad pple running the A1 route. But it was a refreshing run i must say. Though my 'u can do it' sounded less energetic. We did manage to chiong up hills.

Saw peiqiu at science today n we talked over lunch n it was a great conversation. So happen i brought Ixus 400 today so she was able to see e mr500 picx. See, Ixus 400 always saves the day!

Do a short recap on ytd--wednesday. I attended my last maths tutorials for e semester n got back my test paper. I passed! Woohoo. Its like 65/100. Ok, now u muz be wondering, is 65 gd, or average, or bad? Well u juz have gotta peek ard and see how did the others fare. Ok so i sneak peak ard. There were pple scoring 90[in their own world, seriously] n there were mostly pple scoring 70+ n there were also pple who failed. So, yup, according to myself, i think i did slightly better den ok. But of course, there's plenty of room for improvement.

I went to crash diz sociology lecture tt jul n wen attended. Sociology of tourism. Initially i was juz reading my own stuff during e lecture, n then wad e lecturer said seemed so interesting tt i put down my reading stuff to actually sit up n listen to her do the summary lecture. And yes of course, i did also imitated e way she pronounced certain words, and made jul sigh at me. "the language is being MANIPULATED" and "URBAN". hahaha yup i can imitate e pronounciation for u, juz come look for me. i'd gladly show u how it sounds. My intention of crashing their lect was to see how an arts lecture was like. I enjoyed it. But i must say smth. Arts the katsu[jap food] is not as nice as e katsu in science!! Bleh!! Jul treated me katsu coz i requested for it n, boo hoo, it aint as nice as e one in science!

Went to teach tuition aft tt. I cld almost puke blood when i read my tuition kid's essay. Ok i didnt puke blood, i was 'arm chiou-ing' after i read his composition. E main problem is tt he thinks in chinese, so when he writes, his sentence structure are juz directly translated frm chinese to english. Maybe i'd post it in my next entry. =] for some comic relieve.

Back to today--thursday. stationed myself at yih frm 4pm-12am. Just plain mugging. Well at least i managed to get things done. Dinner was damn hillarious. Really, laughter is extremely contagious. Being lame is equally contagious. N i'm really not the lamest ard, dun u all agree? 6 of us went to do gym today. Heh i partnered wenting. So we r 19-20. N we scribbled on a shared piece of paper, wad we did. Instead of our names, we juz wrote 19/20. And there came curious pinxiu to ask, 'eh, wad's with the 19 and 20?' *jul at the background saying 'NO!! dont ask!!'* but it was too late. So i explained tt its because we r born 1 day apart. Pple born in aug are very proud of the fact tt we r born in aug n its such a great news tt we must let the whole world know about it! ahahaha.

Oh b4 i go, just wanna ask u readers a qn. When u all type 'hahahahah' when talking on msn with friends, r u all typing 'hahahaha' with an expressionless face; or when u type 'hahahhaha', r u all also laughing at the same time coz its really funny? Hmm, i need to justify y i seem to laugh in front of my computer screen, coz my brother thinks i'm insane when i do tt. But hey, seriously, if its funny, how can u just type 'hahahaha' n yet have an expressionless face?? Right? U'd be laughing as u type hor? Am i right?

whose line is it anyway

yup cheez, u r darn famous now! tt is, if many pple reads my blog, which i dun exactly know lah. but the thing is, everyone carries their own weight. Some pple drag their feet to class, n its called 'dragging ur own weight'. hahaha. in everything we do, we are overcoming inertia to get it done. So, theoretically speaking, we are carrying our own weight all the time.

oh remember, ytd i mentioned about the air outside being really nice smelling and me wanting to do some meditation b4 sleeping. N so, i decided to meditate while laying in bed. Lesson learnt: Never meditate when u r laying in bed.

Y? U may ask. Hmm, my meditation lasted 8 hrs. And diz morning, mum came to my room and ask, 'girl ah, why u nv switch off the light b4 u sleep ytd night?' hahahaha ok, yes, i attempted to meditate. But, it was a darn failed attempt. Talk about being comfortable n relaxed when meditating. I guess i was way TOO comfortable. And it was supposed to be juz a 10 min thing, and den carry on with doing some tutorial. But, i slept.

Ahh, so we didnt run today. Maybe its like somewhat to compansate for last week. Last week it was all run, no gym. Today it was all gym, no run. N there was e rowing machine n paddles waiting for us aft e gym sets. Power sets was definitely 'powerful' [i quote myself]. I mean, no, its not 100% meant to be lame. Think about it. If u dun find power sets powerful, den wads the use of power sets rite? So, my comment made some sense.

Yirang n i mentioned tt we played diz game 'whose line is it anyway?' last sem. basically we juz noted down wad are the charateristic lines tt our team mates say n imitate it n let one another guess whose line is it. Hahaaha. N so at e dinner table we asked them to guess who in e team says a particular phrase. The thing i realise is tt e person who says tt particular line will somehow not be able to guess tt its her own line. Like, i dun even noe 'u can do it one ah' is my very own line. Hah n yup, all of us got our very own xiao dong zuo. Serene n yirang unanimously showed me e same action tt i normally do, while we were waiting for the train. quite hard to describe e action lah. Hah but when u see e action, u'd somehow know it's Cindy.

rainy monday

take in deep breaths! do u smell it?? ahhh, i just love the smell of the air now.

I dont really noe how to describe it, but its a really nice smell tt comes aft a long rainy day. And i love this smell so much. The air outside smells really nice. Makes me wanna do some meditation n fill my lungs with loads of fresh air. I love to smell everything!

A really long rainy Monday. But u noe wad? I love e rain. I love getting caught in the rain sometimes. And today i deliberately get caught in e rain, just a bit. Its a very refreshing feeling.

Wasnt in e best of moods today. No its not because i didnt have enough sleep. I mean, yah, i do get moody when i dont get enough sleep but not all e time. I can live w/o much sleep too, but given e chance, i wld love to have at least, >6hrs of sleep. Just tt i had to have pple piss me off. It's like a trigger kinda thing. Once u pissed me off, tt's it. I had to send my stuff for printing n some girl had a print job amounting up to $10+ so u cld juz imagine how long i had to stand behind her to wait for her stuff to get printed finish b4 i get mine 11 pages of stuff printed out. N i really loathe waiting. Its precious time wasted. Maybe tt's why i make a big fuss over latecomers. Sense of urgency pple!

Ok, day wasnt all tt bad, really. A typical day of mine is like tt of a sine curve, or cosine curve. Whatever. It goes up n down. Yup i experience highs n lows all in a day, everyday. HL milk anyone? hahaha. Studied at YIH till 10pm. I had e privelege of letting my 2 really gd friends walk me out to the bus stop. How nice of them *big grin* Yup n i'm sorry i burst out laughing too soon. Cannot tahan lah. It was just too amusing.

Anyway, today aint a day to blog. As in, i'm feeling a bit loss for words, slightly incoherent. And so, some visual aids to help me out. Ok, juz 1 photo for today. My all time favourite picture. U've all heard bout carrying your own weight when u row on e boat rite? Now diz is a true representation of carrying your own weight, and tt of your team mate! I just love this picture. Check out the hand. It's my hand!

sad news

Yup, e qn running thru my head now. y do i learn to cherish only now?--jul's nick on msn. All i can say is, too little, too late. Enough said. =[

Last water trg today. Hah e team was really nice to let me TP at e end of trg. I am gonna take more pictures, pls allow me to do so. everyone looked damn gd in e picture lah. But no full strength. -Big sigh-

This time, no windy in white cap. But there's wenting in white cap so i asked her stand beside me during the photo taking. Wenting n i gave a name for ourselves--from now on we r known as 19-20. Well tt's coz we r born 1 day apart. If u all havent ald noe, i'm born on e 19th. So tt makes me older, by a day.

Wenting n i paced 2 sets tgt today. I've got a problem with my front catch. Muz learn from wenting n yirang man. They both really twist their shoulders forward. david had to give a new name for me when he changed angeline n put wenting in front. Yah, the thing about bad karma. I dont wanna be called 'tt name'[i wont reveal wad it is]. Hrmpf. No lah, firstly, i'm not worthy to be called 'tt name' n secondly, we r all learning from one another n there's no need for tt distinction. So now its 2 new nicknames, all in a week. urgh.

Today 7 pple went for dinner. Yeh! e more e merrier. We ate at Golden Mile Complex. Angeline, geoks, wenting, jul, pinxiu, yirang n i. Yup, with the jurong pple ard, there's bound to be loads of constipated expression in many faces over dinner table. E cannot tahan look on their faces. Eh i'm not always high ok. And so is yirang. We take turns. Sometimes i'm down n she takes over. Other times, she has toothache n its not her day n i take over e crapping. And on very unusual days, [u r really lucky den] both of us are experiencing a bad day n we dont talk/crap at all. Today, we both were very high. So, yah.. u noe wad happened.

kinda exhausted, really. it was a day filled with fun n laughter, yet i received sad news and its really bothered me quite a bit. I noe, life is full of ups and downs. Cant always stay happy, neither can one always stay sad.

Many wonder why i juz love to TP. Well, its because i'd love to preserve a memory as best as possible. People come and go, but it's e pictures tt will remind me what eventful stuff happened in my life. And if there be a day when i slip into coma n wake up n dont remember a thing, all these pictures are so gonna come in handy. And there's this saying: Take nothing but pictures; leave nothing but footprints.

This is us today. Yeh! It's once in a really blue moon tt they let me have my way. Thank u all! Ok we really muz take more team photos tgt. Someone commented i look photogenic. I tink all of us do look photogenic too. So y hide? Take more pictures!

e simple pleasures in life

i found tiz great need to blog today. I juz came back from dinner at crystal jade with my family. Woah, it felt so gd. Initially, i turned down the offer when Mum called me at 3pm asking if i wanted to have dinner, coz i had wanted to study in school. And den later at bout 5pm, while studying at yih, i juz felt tiz great urge to spend time with my family, so i called mum and told her i'd be joining them.

It was such a wen xin sight. Mum and bro's gf were there when i reached. I arrived, then shortly after, bro arrived, holding his laptop in his hands. He had also rushed back for dinner from school. And Dad arrived last, he came from work. Its like some TV commercial where pple hui2 jia1[come back home] to have a meal together. Though it wasnt home-cooked food coz mum n dad works n we eat out, it was such an enjoyable meal. Well, at least bro didnt lame so much coz he was talking to his gf most of the time. At least he was occupied. Ok, he did lame ard but i 'egg-nored'. And we did take turns to crap ard n drive his gf crazy. ahahaha. 2 bowls of la mian, 2 longs of xiao long pao, beijing dumplings, wantons[n yes, i asked e 'how many wantons r there in 1 ton of wanton' qn], carrot ball, guo tie n much more. Hmm the bill came up to $65.14. Ok, now u muz be wondering y we had a feast all of a sudden. Well, coz Dad bought 4-D and strike lottery[starter] so hahahaha, yup...feast!! E simple pleasures in life, spending time with the family.

Its really very interesting today. Why interesting? Somehow at least 5 person said tiz to me. All bu yue er tong said it at different time. 'Try, u wont know unless u try' yunshan said it, iso said it, ms lai[i'd tell u who she is later] said it, dad said it, mum said it. Well, dad n mum said it under a different circumstance. They were asking me to try the new dish they ordered though i was ald very full, and so they said it. As for yunshan, iso n ms lai, they said it coz i told them bout my dilemma, ie if i shd switch major. yunshan always say things tt makes me think hard n think deep. she said, 'some pple sit n wait for things to happen. others go out n seize e opportunity. even if u switch major n e workload is huge, when u suffer, u also feel more gan1 yuan4'

I went to the Cenacle to pray. It's so convenient tt church is like 2-3 stops frm nus n i can easily take bus 96 or 151 there. Prayer went smth like tiz: Dear God, pls give me direction. Let me know where i shd go, which road i shd take. Let me go the path u r pointing towards. Take my hand n lead me. Pls give me a sign. I do not know if i shd switch or i shd stay. Whatever it is, I place my trust in u. Thank You Lord. Amen.

I cannot help but overemphasize the power of prayer. Somehow while walking towards Jurong Pt to have dinner, Ms Lai[my JC Economics teacher] bumped into me. As usual, i was walking blindly so usually, it'll be others who'd stop n acknowledge me and not vice versa. I cld easily walk past u not realise tt its actually u. so dun think i'm dao. if i dun acknowledge u in future, it's because i'm cock-eye. haha. Anyway, she went like, 'Cindy!' and i was pleasantly surprise to see her. She's no doubt, one of those teachers tt made an impact in my life. She doted our class[self proclaimed] more than her form class[juliana's class] hehe. N we were her pride and joy[again, self proclaimed]. Without her, i would not have possibly did well in A level Economics. First thing she said, 'Cindy, y u look so unhappy n listless? U seemed happier in ur JC days.' And then we juz stood there n talked for 10 min, non stop. I wished we cld talk longer, perhaps over a cuppa coffee but she n i had smth on. Anyway, i told her bout wad was happening in my life. 'Ms Lai, i'm afraid if i change major, i'll have regrets' and she said, 'Just make a decision, and dont look back and dont regret. Try, u wont know unless u try What for persist in a course of action when u wont be happy? U seemed happier last time.'

Woah. To me, it seemed God-sent. I know many may argue tt its pure coincidence tt i bumped into her, but how often do i bump into my Economics teacher? And yup, she seemed like the best person i cld talk and ask about. She's a great confidante, and i really miss her. Even a person whom i've not seen for so long can pick up e signs tt i'm not happy. I'm simply amazed beyond words. Really.

Anyway, i'm ok. Just using this week to think bout tiz seriously coz i've reached a particular cross-road in life n i'm supposed to make up my mind. I'm fine. Dont worry bout me. And yes, thank u to all who have been talking to me about it. Windy, who is more than willing to help coz she's been thru the same shit as me 1 yr ago. Shirley, who'd be praying for me to find an answer. Yunshan, who says stuff tt makes me think deep. Iso, who gives really gd advice n misses my presence coz i wasnt at yih ytd[feeling appreciated, heh]. Meiping, who checked out e moe website n informs me tt i can also teach sec/jc level if i major in economics. Cheez, who says whatever it is, she'd support my decision no matter what it is. Ahhh, if u dont see ur name, dont feel bad. I know u all care juz as much. Really, dont worry lah. I'm alright.