ah finally..1 down

if a picture paints a thousand words..does this tell u almost everything tt i'm about to blog?

Woohoo..yes e Ladies team for Science fac won 2nd!! 1st goes to fass yes yes..Arts won..and 3rd went to Law fac. We played 2 games today. First was with engin and we kicked them out and so qualified for the finals, leaving them to vye wif law for e 3rd n 4th placing. But seriously, ytd when we won all 3 games n were told to come back again today, e feeling was e same as how e nus alumni team felt when they qualified for e 2nd race day's race. It's like...'Huh, sianz'

Ok we put up a gd fight against fass ok. Though i noe its like tiz bunch of 8 players coming from the very 'happening' science fac n attending only 1-2 trg sessions. It was like crap lah..but e beauty of it is tt all 8 of us had diz spark or smth lah, diz enthusiasm in a new sport[maybe?] n maybe huge tons of beginners' luck tt led us to win 2nd place. Reminds me of the MVP Qing Ren where tiz bunch of loser team eventually worked their way up to prove to e others tt they r not a garbage team. Like us lah. Haha. At the end of the finals rd, we were tied at 0-0. So there was a penalty shoot out. N we only lost den. Yah but i'm not complaining. Really the colour of the medal doesnt matter. I'm juz kinda relieved it's over. Maybe next yr join again? Siao ah..i'm sure got screw-drivers on stand-by to tell me not to do silly things again. Unless i'm really free, n really boliao, which i still am. Back to serious work. Take care guys.

This is e Science fac men n ladies team. Guys got 3rd. See, camera always comes in handy =] Apparently they wanted to take a group photo n realised tt no1 had a camera. So, Ixus 400 came to save the day!

Right after the prize presentation. I'm e only one who's clean n dry coz i went to bathe right aft e match.

I kept my word. No wearing of team jersey so as not to tell e whole world i'm frm dragonboat, shd i do smth embarassing like capsize. As u can see, i'm in my fbt singlet.

life is gd..sometimes

Today i woke up early to go campus to take part in e canoe polo qualifiers. Surprise, surprise..now wad do u know man? Outta e 3 games we played today, we won all 3. Science[girls team] played against medicine, fass n SDE. B4 e game against FASS, the team leader was ald briefing us n saying tt they were a strong team blah blah so we taut, 'ok juz go play lah..ntg to lose also. Lose den lose lor' But surprisingly, Shanti, one of our team player managed to score a goal during the last 2 minutes of the game. Woohoo. hah yah fortunately for today, i was assigned to be defender, not goal scorer. Managed to save a few balls from nearing the goal post. At least i did my part..though i capsized twice.

Oh yea need to thank jul, wenya n izzy for leaving ya comments on e previous blog. Yea i'm really slowly restoring my life n clearing off e shit tt i unknowingly put myself into. I believe i'd be fine. Somehow things will work out. At least by tmr, I'll have smth off my shoulders. Canoe polo is smth off my list of things to do. Pls be there to remind me if i shd want to try out a new sport AGAIN. Be the screw-drivers ard on stand-by mode so i dun unknowingly be the one who screws up my own life. Thank u in advace. Really.

Took a cab down wif Jade to SDBA and e taxi driver was quite funny. He asked, 'so wad do they call pple who do dragon boat?' and i answered.."dragon-boaters". And he was like, 'Eh dun sound macho enuf leh' and i said, 'or maybe we r called rowers' and he was satisfied with the answer. He was a nice cabby driver and b4 we got off the cab, he said, "be careful, don't get eaten by the dragon". haha how crappy. Just the kinda person i like.

I liked today's trg, though it was quite shiong. Esp e part when we were rowing back with added resistance. I think i watched too much 'Black Hawk Down'. With the Pokka Green Tea bottle in my arms, while we were on e pontoon waiting to get onto the boat, i suddenly used it as a 'machine gun' and went 'trrrrrrrr' and started shooting the pple ard me. And i got scolded by Geoks. She said she'll push me down into the water if i continued. Opps. Too much violent flicks on TV not very good for a small kid like me. But hey, the show was damn sad lah, pple dying, the helicopter being shot down, the pilot being so brave. And yes..Josh Harnet..shuai. But as a section commander[was he considered one?] he was quite emotional lah..not very gd. He thought too much n kept blaming himself. Thought tt it was his fault tt his men were dying n cld not bring them back safely. But e thing is..in a war, pple die. Accidents happen. Ok i side-tracked. Damit.

As i was saying, trg was quite gd. [ahhaha] Yah at least we tried to make e transition more obvious. And wow..i tink geoks version of fast strokes is sooo zai lahh..reminds me of the duracell rabbit. Leaves a very 'high' feeling after tt set. Woohoo. Then the run, cant participate. Sit out for today's run n see how it goes next week. So there's many lame pple in e team right now..u noe..lyk me, yirang, geoks, and jade. All got leg problem. So yea i promise i wont be so lame aft i recover frm shin splint. Ok..tt's crappy. Opps. My fault.

And i muz say..trying out the regatta route. Woohoo. I taut i cld hear boon chin as e coaxwain all of a sudden. It's still fresh in my memory. The Plate finals. We executed our starts..den i seemed to hear her call for e 'whole boat ready for up 5? 1,2nGO' It's a damn good feeling all of a sudden. Makes me remember y i'm here, y we r doing all these for. Only difference was tt aft tt set, we didnt break out in euphoria n started embracing each other n screaming like mad. Thankfully we didnt. I remembered how e boat nearly capsized coz we started hugging each other n e boat tilted to one side n nearly cap-ed.

4 of us went to have dinner at Golden Mile Complex..geoks me yirang n jul. As usual i asked yirang to take a photo of us 4 aft dinner. Gd thing about eating here is tt a) ah-balling still taste ever so gd and b) sugar cane with lemon cost $1 only!! Compared to e $1.30 for my stupid teh-o-ping last week at marina.[still cant get over it] Ok so jul n geoks had to put up wif the jurong pple and their crapping. Well, it wasnt tt bad rite? Oh yes i thought it'll b nice if we did smth in memory of zhenyi so we walked past the shop tt sold her fav 10cents sweet and bought a packet of tt sweet n ate it. And then *enters Yirang* with tt song tt zhenyi always sings..'chi tang de sui man liao yu ye ting liao..' Yea totally man. But yea on e train on our way home, we were really thinking, 'eh wad if some day we irritate the hell outta each other ahh? den it'll really be like some final show down..n it'll be so cool.'

i recorded in my otot(1) sheet tt i do skipping. hahaha. n mona tinks i like to skip. Well, e real reason is tt i heard from somewhere tt woman stop growing aft 19 yrs old. So i'm like trying to grow a few cm before 19 Aug when i hit 20 n cant grow anymore. I noe 160cm is not tt short, but it aint tt tall either. N today yirang juz have gotta test my height lah. In the shower room at national stadium. Coz we both borrowed jul's shampoo n she was thinking of how i can pass her the bottle w/o throwing over to her cubicle. So she suggested i put it on e top of the wall which divides e cubicle. And i tried to tiptoe and reach but..i shant elaborte further. And she was luffing n luffing. Thanks ahh. Some kinda fren. To think i tried hard not to luff when i saw e PJC netball picture of someone lor..hahah.

exhausted

It's supposed to be the mid term break but y do i feel so exhausted!? Ytd studied at yih e whole day den went for trg. Despite 8 hrs of mugging, i cld not finish wad i set out to do. Dunnoe y but wasnt exactly in top form ytd for trg. Circuit run was..bad..n i tried to land properly but it still hurts. Am i being stubborn again? Or determined? Or stubbornly determined? I've decided tt i shan't aggrevate e shin splinted area till..maybe next week. For now, leg is reserved for walking, n maybe a bit of jumping? But running is out for e moment.

Stayed home today to study for my Advanced Calculus test, which was at MPSH1 frm 215-315pm. Paper wasnt easy, but i didnt dwell into it. Too tired to think bout it. Decided to go gym for a while since it's juz 1 level above n i've got some time, might as well. After tt proceeded to yih to study but heh, in e end i juz lay my head down and slept. yunshan came to ask me to move over to study wif them. i taut i remembered dreaming smth bout either her, or e team juz a moment ago b4 she woke me up. meiping said i looked tired, yea i really was. Look like a 'dead fish' haha. but in e end i decided to go biz lt18 for CSS Mass. N Fr Fred talked bout once u've put God in the eqn, no matter wad, you'd still be in the right track. Felt spiritually uplifted, though still mentally n physically tired. Tmr's gonna b a long day, so i'm gonna turn in early. Canoe polo, den dragonboating at sdba. Shall slowly dig my way outta e shit hole i placed myself into.

shit happens..it always does

Seriously, wad's wrong with me? I think i'm testing my own limits of the amt of shit i can take. As if i havent ald have enough work to do, i happily signed myself up into e canoe polo IFG only to receive an email last night saying tt there's one final trg cum team-bonding session tmr from 9-11am, and then its e qualifiers on saturday 9-1pm and finals on sunday 11-3pm.

Isnt it like another case of deja vu? Like, havent i ald gone thru tiz kinda shitified situation during sculling? How we went for a competition with only 5 trg sessions and making a fool of ourselves. This time round, it's just 2 trg sessions and there..u r off to fend for yourself in the qualifiers and the finals. Damit, i just have this feeling they r so gonna pass the ball to me and think i am capable of scoring goals, when i'm like, new to the sport. And i'm juz gonna b a let-down lah.

Why do i always let shit happen? I mean, it's gd tt i like to try out new sports, and i know its a great experience to b in a competition n all tt stuff, but i juz dont like it when i go unprepared. Physically n mentally unprepared. I mean, i knew this was gonna happen, but then, y did i let myself go thru this kinda thing again? Screwed up man. Seriously screwed up. Wait for my news..maybe sci fac will clinch like 3rd? and it'll b only because there's 3 facs participating or smth. How 'exciting'

Yanling sent out an sms to us juz now. I believe it was sent out to the whole clique. It read: "Saw a trauma case today. Attend to e 44 yr old chinese female from 830 till 1..resuscitated her 6 times, but have to let her go eventually.....do cherish life, we nv know when we will leave, and may not even get to say goodbye. Hope u guys take care n u guys r always in my heart.."

Wow..wad a powerful msg. Our dear nurse a.k.a missy frm e clique sending out a msg loud and clear tt life is precious. How could i have forgetten tt! I replied wif a msg to her which read, "Thank u. Sometimes we get so caught up with life tt we forget to cherish things that REALLY matter.Thanks for reminding us how precious life is. Take care ger"

I put myself into her shoes. What if i was the one doing the resiscitation?? If a life juz slipped past my fingers like tt[even aft resiscitating 6 times], I may not have remained as calm and composed as she was..to be able to send out the sms to all of us. Maybe tt's why i'm not in e medical line. Her calling is one tt's really noble, and i take my hats off her.

mid term break..1/2 gone

It's already Tuesday and half e mid term break is gone. Well at least i was quick enough to realise tt staying at home to study[on monday] was totally unproductive, and decided tt today shall be spent in YIH. Seriously, i tink there's some sleeping bug or wad..i juz kept taking naps after naps..non-stop for e whole of ytd. This despite the fact tt i had a full 8 hrs sleep the night b4! Damit.

Today was much better. I parked myself at e YIH frm 10am onwards. Read thru n did my maths stuff. Advance calculus. I warned Wenya not to look at my notes coz it's disgusting, n she scribbled on my paper..'jiayou..hang in there'. N she was saying, 'eh u maths major leh..u r gonna face this kinda stuff lor' Woohoo. tt's so true.

Trg today was gd. I realised many pple are afraid of my Ixus 400. Well it didnt make its appearance today only till e bus ride to Clementi Interchange. I took a photo of 3 pple who did not join us for dinner. haha. When i was about to leave earlier after dinner and said, "i'm gonna leave part of me with u all", e immediate reaction was.."HUH dun tell me its ur camera!!" No lah..i was leaving a packet of tissue paper so tt they can use it to wipe their mouths lor. It's not always about Ixus 400 k. bleh.

Run was gd. Tried landing softly on my left foot so tt my affected 'shin splint' area wont hurt so much. I hope e pain goes away. Well it may[or may not] go away after ample rest. I juz need to b more careful i guess. Apparently e 'counterpain' cream which e doctor at UHWC prescribed to me was of really gd use aft e run. Yah lotsa injury so muz take care man pple. Gym today..woohoo[*ahem *grins*]..hah it was gd. partnered yunshan n vic. I learnt tt 'wad goes up must come down' is a phrase tt DOES NOT apply in gym trg. wad goes up muz stay up..n muz increase further..like e weights i do for inclined press. yirang n i switched to 'crapping' mode as we proceeded for dinner, hence resulting in e pple ard us suffering like mad. Highlights was tiz insider's joke..'The chicken is RATHER[pronounced as'rudder'] salty. Many snrs concluded tt in next academic yr's Matric Fair, they r so gonna screen thru all the juniors to make sure they r sane b4 letting them join db. Eh..we r not tt bad k..it's just the Jurong air. Blame it on the Jurong air. hahaha.

Canoe-polo

  In the taxi on our way to have breakfast, Mum asked me wad i'm doing aft church. I said.."I'm gg NUS ltr to try out a new sport..canoe polo. Taking part in IFG for Science" and her reaction was, "Siao ah, dragonboat not enough, u wanna join another CCA?" I reply, "No, i'm juz trying out a new sport..go see wad's it like."

  Den it was my brother. "Eh, u wanna play canoe polo ah? So boliao! 90% of the time u'd be paddling like mad to go get the ball, u'd be lucky if u get ur hands on the ball for the remaining 10% of the time lah!"

  Ok lah..i went down for the trg session right after church. It was frm 11-1pm. I realised i shdnt have worn my blue trg jersey. Like, wad if i embarass myself? Den pple wld probably blacklist NUS dragonboat again lah..juz like during sculling. They'd probably think we shd really stick to dragonboating n not try out new sea sports. haha.

  So here's a lil update. The glam part: Woohoo, started out by trying to canoe in a straight line. Ok can handle. Then some girls taut me how to pass the ball. Also can handle. Then tried my hands at scoring goals. Eh..quite gd at it sia! Hahah..bout 4 in 7 shots went in. Initially e ball couldnt go far when i throw coz i was juz relying on deltoids..den they taut me to throw further by twisting. Ok, so i can score goals..Wooohoo.

  Now here's the not-so-glam part. After e practice, they broke us up into girls and guys team. So we played a game with each other. Yea wad my brother said was true..90% of the time was spent fighting for the ball. ahahhaha. So they thought since i was quite gd at scoring goals, they kept passing the ball to me. BAD decision. Somehow there was bout 4 chances for me to score. All missed. Hahahaha. And then there was capsizing too. Hahaha paddled too excitedly den lose control, capsized twice, during the informal competition. Woohoo, yea i totally forgot all e stuff i learnt in my 3-star kayaking lah. If i remembered, I cld at least do 'the roll' to get myself back up and not do e wet exit. So much for kayaking skills which went down the drain.

  Left earlier coz i had to go teach tuition. If u all were wondering if there's any food available on Sundays in NUS, the answer is yes. Linger Cafe is opened on Sundays. The food was good..Nahhh..maybe i was juz extremely hungry from 2hrs of canoeing, so everything tasted good.

Anyway, here's a photo of us--Yirang, me, Jul and Wendy[aka Windy] at Marina after dinner on Saturday. Hah there's actually like-minded pple like me in the team who likes taking photos[and being taken photos of]. Ok i promised i will tone down in taking photos so u wont see Ixus 400 so often now.

19/02/05

I made sure there wont be another case of 'expensive vitasoy' happening again. Yea I remembered to bring e vitasoy outta e house for trg today. Weather extremely hot today, causing e ground to heat up so badly tt we were doing 'Thaipusam' while gg onto the boat. Seriously, it was HOT. A gd thing we didnt get blisters on our feet. E boat seem a bit empty today.. and we encountered some problems with transitions. Not exactly transition, but more of like there wasnt this distinction in between. After tt we went on shore n den we were taught tiz 'yuan2 qi4' thing by david n it was quite funny. We had to 'US!' each time he 'US-ed!' and the action was damn comical. And there was tiz part where we 'pang-seh' Juliana n she was the only one shouting 'US!' and we all burst out laughing. Opps..haha. But frankly speaking, there were some moments of awkward silence during trg today. Hmm..

  I think I am influenced by my brother to wanna go get a pair of shades for myself. During CNY visiting, he had diz pair of Oakley's and then he started asking.."Eh Cindy, y u dun have a pair of shades ah? I taut all dragon-boaters shd have one?? [Big misconception] We dun row with shades lah. Can u imagine if we got sun burnt? There'll be this ugly white protected patch on our face, the shape of the sunglasses. Then again, today I tried putting on Wenya's shades before trg. And I'll post the picture later. As u can see, and I'm sure u all agree, I look gd rite? Hahaha..ok I look like a poser. But I dun care! Woo hoo

  And after we finished bathing, e 3 of us decided to take a picture outside National Stadium. Wenya's quite pro at it lah..she took e photo. Curious bystanders walking out of the stadium offered to help us take a picture, but we rejected their offer coz we were enjoying taking e pictures ourselves. Squeezing to get into the picture frame n making sure there was sufficient lighting so e picture turned out gd. After which jul n I went to have dinner with Windy and Yirang at Marina. Expensive food..and teh-o ping cost $1.30!! I'm sorry but I'm kinda on e thrifty side? But today I decided to indulge a little. Spent $2.60 on 2 cups of teh-o ping..coz super thirsty n a lil dehydrated frm the weather.

coincidence, fate, or freaky?

Denise n i vowed to blog this. It's really kinda freaky..we bumped into each other 4 times this week. Every day excluding thursday. Ahh well, it does feel really wen xin though, tt God somehow planned for us to meet each other so many times despite the odds. Cmon, wad are the odds of u bumping into a person tt u dun usually even meet in e same faculty? And four times for the record!? Twice at YIH, once in Sci fac, and the last was today, at the sheltered walkway to the 198 bus stop.

I've checked out some pple's blog. Yes i'm a voyeur. Everyone is. It's an open secret. Tiz the season to be sad..i cant explain why, but yea..there's diz tinge of sadness tt everyone's feeling right now. Even for myself. I juz hope tt during diz 1 week break, we'd all do smth to find back some lost happiness. For me, i'd probably catch a movie. Watching movies make me happy. I doubt i'll be able to collect 20 ticket stubs diz yr, but yea i tink its time i go watch a movie. It has to be either a very funny movie..to make sure i luff till my body get rids of all e sad stuff, OR a very very sad show..to cry to my hearts content. Any movie which is in btwn e extreme ends of the spectrum is a no-go.

I reckon that it's actually very simple to understand why people have a love-hate relationship for things. It seems paradoxical and almost impossible to love and yet hate smth all at one go, but when u think about it, it's really logical. The eqn just seems to balance out. Let me explain: If u love something so much, and one day, this thing starts to hurt u[it may be juz a slight thing tt cause a bit of hurt], you feel like its a damn big thing. you noe how much it matters to u, and once u r afflicted with pain[even if it was juz one tiny pinprink], u start to dislike it. And this dislike will transform into a hate once the damage is done. Think about it, if this thing dun even matter so much to you, will u even care? Will u even bother u invest your feelings of hate for it?

I hate to hate, I love to love.[my quote]. Loving transends all boundaries, and it is not selfish. Bottom line is..i juz wanna be happy. I know i am happy, but some things juz make me sad. Take for instance sch work. Maths to be exact. How could i ever develop a love-hate relationship for it? Trace back to my argument juz now. You'll noe e answer. Right now i just wished i can trust in Him better. I know things will somehow work out, it always does. Why do i let myself worry so much when God already has greater plans for me? What is fate without faith? Well..tiz the season to be sad..zhe shi ji mo[change to shang xin] de ji jie..hah..woohoo..david tao..
__________________________________________________________

time now is 430pm, Just went to see e doc at UHWC. She said i got tiz thing called shin-splint. It's not exactly my shin tt's hurting but she says yea..coz mine's e not so serious version of it. She gave me tiz piece of paper which elaborated bout wad shinsplint is and the causes of it. Hah..i smiled to myself when i read diz part, "It may be caused by unaccostomed footwear. In addition, changes in trg habits, such as longer distance or faster speed runs, or harder or softer surfaces than usual are also contributing factors." As expected, she prescribed 'counter pain' cream and some tablets for me to eat. I hope it recovers. Yea i'm sure it will. =]

muz every entry have a title? I can't think of one yet

This is gonna be quite an incoherent post entry. Ytd was a day when the world came crashing upon me. U noe how there's some of those days where u feel tt life sucks? Yea ytd was the day. Just wasnt my day..how can i elaborate on tt?

Today was a better day. There's tiz quote tt says.."a gd bridge btwn despair n hope is a gd nite's sleep" I had a full 7hrs sleep and darn was it gd. Had linear algebra lect in e morning, 2 hrs break, den LSM lect where i made a quick exit during e break. Heh..coz i didnt do e tutorial prepared so it was kinda pointless if i stayed. Instead i went to Ctl Lib to zap my readings n den to YIH to finish up my GEK project which is due..tmr.

Trg today. Told iso bout tiz pain in my vein which is btwn my left calf and foot. She said tt maybe it was tt my vein's displaced and advised me to see a sinseh. I've never seen a sinseh b4 n yah..i dun intend to. The thing is..i'm afraid of pain. Not all kinds of pain, but i'm juz afraid tt e sinseh will rub it intensively or do accupuncture on it and I can just imagine myself screaming my lungs out in pain. OUCHHHHHHHHH. So, i dun tink i will see a Chinese doctor. Maybe i'll juz stick to Western medicine. Tried applying deep heat for 2 weeks ald but it still hurts and i have to b careful when landing on my left foot. And there's a slight bulge when i rub it.

Well..trg today. Some stuffs were brought to our attention during debrief today. Let's juz say some stuff are not a gd topic to write about but its gd to reflect upon individually. Quiet moments of reflection. Yah alright..shall juz do an abrupt signing off for now.

Dilemmas

Sometimes u just wished u cld be at 2 places in 1 time. Wouldn't it be great? Then u can fulfil your responsibility and role to 2 different groups of people all at 1 go. Well i had my share of dilemmic, sticky situations too. Where i had to be at 2 places in 1 time but yea, u juz gotta let go of one and upset 1 party. It had gotta be on my birthday too, and yea it was a painful decision. Well, if there's any consolation, ur presence to the other party makes a whole lot of difference too. This is not directed to anyone in particular, really. But yah juz happen to think bout it and so i'm blogging my thoughts.

And i realise tt i'm not cut out to be a councellor. Hahaha..i cant console a person. Seriously, i cant think of the right things to say! But i think my presence do make a difference lah huh. And i've got broad shoulders and a warm hug to offer. I think tt's all that matters sometimes. Woo hoo..self praise is no praise. Ok seriously, 'woo hoo' has become the latest slang i keep saying. haha juz bear wif me for a while. Whoever's out there, i hope u all are feeling better already. I'm sure u are.

Anyway i realised ytd tt seriously, i am really bad with remembering names. I was at Jurong Pt when a jj odac snr stopped me, and waved to me. Then it was like this 10-sec of silence and i juz looked at her, point at her and was lyk 'wait a minute, i know u..juz let me remember ur name'. She asked, ' You remember or not? Do u remember who am i?" Then after ages of stoning, i said.."ohhh i remember..Jieying rite?" *phew*..luckily i remembered the name. Sometimes it gets really bad. I'd say i remember but when i spout out the name, it's incorrect. And then the person will roll his/her eyes at me. I remember faces, i remember scents, but i just cant get ur name, unless i use it often enough tt it subconsciously get into my head. As for smells, now u will know the reason why i smell everything. Seriously, e-v-er-y-t-h-i-n-g. The statement 'every smell evolves a memory' works for me. I still remember very clearly how the smell of the oxygen mask smelt like when i was being pushed into an operation theatre to get rid of my pneumonia. It smelt kinda sweet? And i can still remember the smell of my pillow aka 'chou chou' [smelly smelly]. Lipin gave it tt name. To me it smelt sooo gd, it practically worked as an instant sleeping pill to lure me to sleep. Oh but i threw it away 2 yrs after i shifted to my new house.

a contrast

Woo hoo! David Tao's 'Ai hen jian dan' beat other songs hands down to claim No. 1 in the charts for most popular song among couples. I heard it on YES 933fm today while gg campus. Yea its so good to hear such great songs in e morning..esp Monday mornings. Totally chased away all the blues ard man!

Anyway i was juz doing a bit of thinking today. No, actually i think everyday. I realised life's like a circle..wad do i mean by tt? I think life's a contrast. Like for instance i took note tt..

When i was very young, I was damn sick with all kinds of illness. Pneumonia, Jondis[dunno e exact spelling] and i had this extremely bad cough such tt my parents had to fork out hundreds of dollars a mth to make sure i seek help from Specialists[not doctors] to get rid of the excess phlem. In short, i was an expensive kid. But now, I'm kinda healthy..its too early to say wad will happen in future but yea..now i feel like i'm in e pink of health.

When i look back at my younger days, i concluded tt i may have had some form of autism or maybe i was kinda slow? I remembered how in nursery we wld have tiz jigsaw puzzle time and had to fix a 10-20 piece jigsaw tgt within tt hr..and aft e hr is up, my teacher wld give me the hopeless look coz i'd be staring at he jigsaw wif only lyk 2-3 pieces fixed tgt. I hardly talked last time..but now..i dun tink any1 will use the descriptive word 'quiet' on me. hahahaha

Then again, i hardly cried when i was young and I was like e invincible during age 6-10 yrs of age. The only time i cried was when my mum forced me to wear a dress. hahaha. Other times, a typical day would see me climbing up onto those chairs in my grandma's house..and jump down frm a high pt. And then there was this 2 walls which was about 1m apart frm each other and i'd climb up by jamming my feet against the wall. N i'd secretly ride my bicycle on the roads to Clementi Interchange frm my grandma's house without anyone knowing. N i'd also zoom down slopes without hesitation when i put on my roller blades. Woohoo..those were the days. Now surprisingly, i'm afraid of heights nowadays. And if u'd ask me to roller blade down e slope, i'd have 2nd, and even 3rd thoughts. And now..i'm such a sucker for sad/touching shows lah..HK drama lah..those Taiwan Ouxiang Ju lah..and even Mulan n Lilo&Stitch..disney shows. Extremely active tear ducts on e standby man..wenya join me k..hah

Y am i saying all this? No i'm juz thinking tt in future if u have kids..if they dun seem very bright when they r younger, it doesnt mean they will b like tt when they grow up. Very often its like a reverse cycle kinda thing..But then again, wad i say is kinda like only base on a sample size of..1--me. Oh well, it's My blog, My mess, My business. hhahaha.

Ok lastly, i taut bout tiz qn while brushing my teeth ytd n preparing to go to bed. Here goes: What happens when a strong ger becomes stronger?
The answer is: She becomes a stronger ger!

Sounds simple and straightforward huh? Ok maybe a bit lame. haha ok but to me it was a lil amusing coz it's somehow like some sorta tongue twister

a summary of fri and sat

Fri nite..we met at Orchard Stn Control and i imposed a rule tt latecomers will pay xtra since its e festive season and everyone wld have some xtra pocket $ ard. Guimei was 1 min late and she had to pay xtra for us. Kaiyan n i were 10 min early n we taut b'dae girl was late[rule applies to everyone] but she was actually sitting at the other Orchard exit[nearer to popular bkstore] waiting wif Michelle.

We dined at Crystal Jade. I had the 'honour' of sitting between Wangwee and Wenya, e 2 reputable loud speakers. Surprisingly, wen did not speak loudly so my left eardrum wasn't affected. But darn, my right eardrum almost burst frm all e exclamations from wee. Wah seh, told her tmr[ie Sat trg] sure cannot hear david one. Her present was FINALLY given to her after we delayed like 10 min enticing her with presents tt werent really hers. It wasnt my idea though. Haha. And yea at dinner table, we talked bout lotsa stuff. Sally talked about how she imposed coporal punishment on pri sch kids[which worked somehow heh], those attached talked bout how they havent bought v day presents for their other halves, we[3 of us] talked bout yea, u can anticipate wad we talked bout huh? And wen has this very 38 laughter after she tells e clique bout some stuff tt's gotta do with 'wen xin'[heart-warming] *grins*. Walau, ok maybe my left eardrum did suffer a bit. wen n jul dared each other to do smth during a particular trg day and i'm juz sitting to watch a very gd show indeed. Somehow, both of them regretted their dare to each other and are seeking a compromise. We ate lotsa mango dessert at this 'xu liu shan' place.
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Woke up at 7am in order to reach Kallang stn at 830am. Checked in to Boon Lay Stn, was about to take the train, den realised i forgot to take smth. Vitasoy!! yah offered to help wen take a carton but forgot to bring it outta e house. Realise i was running a little late n decided to take a cab down. Commented to Jul tt tiz was 'expensive vitasoy' coz i spent so much $ to make sure i was on time. Was told to tie rudder[is it spelt tiz way?] by mona so i taut i did an excellent job at tt coz i used lyk 'figure of 8' n wad i learnt in knots and lashings in odac to tie it. [i'd get back to diz later haha] We went for a run n i knew i shdnt have eaten the mango dessert which had sea coconut ytd. Stomach felt slightly uncomfortable when running but was ok lah. Warm up set was e same as last week and i partnered Raine. We were challenged with the choppy waters again but tiz time was more prepared for it le. Know how to react n not GRABA hahaha. Timing was more coordinated coz we front packers wld often time tgt, not sure who started it but it was gd to have e '1-2-3 n-4' to make sure timing was ok. Yea we were like some icon at the Esplanade there and tourist started taking loads of pictures of us dragon-boating. The set back[not setback] was also quite alright though occasionally i'd still have some 'corrosion' wif wen n tt's where i noe i'm pausing behind[bad habit, muz change] n not in front.

Geoks, Wendy, Yirang n i volunteered to bathe faster n go david's house earlier to prepare the stuff and we sat his car. He told us some important things to take note when driving and we listened. Poor wendy and geoks..had to be stuck in e car with the Jurong-pple. Haha. When the car zoomed past VJC, the conversation was like this:

Me: wah..victoria very rich hor..got so much $ to build a JC
Yirang: yah lor yah lor..got her own street some more!
Me: Yah..and a theatre also..wahh muz make gd friends with her hor
Meanwhile, geoks and wendy looks at each other and u can see e get-me-out-of-here look emerging frm their faces.

We flipped thru David's photo album after doing wad we were supposed to do[wash e stuff, get ready e food, set up the steamboat on the dining table, QC the food(yah we ate the fishball to test if its sour, which it was, so we them threw away.see we sacrificed k)]. Yea his 'glory days' as a national rower. The rest came and we started e steamboat. But wen n i only ate e rice initially coz got some traffic jam so we cldnt get the food. Came out for 2nd and 3rd round when the rest were gambling was helping peiwen n serene to cook and to shell prawns. Got 3 shellers[yunshan me n angeline] standing by to shell prawns for them. Because there was so little soup left n we kept throwing in prawns after prawns to cook, the soup became extremely unbearable to taste. It's salty/tasty to an extent tt peiwen gave diz urgh look as she drank down the soup. We all tried the soup and yah, it tasted..hmm..one-of-a-kind. hahaha. I burst on laughing after trying the soup. It was as bad as she described it to be. Oh yah i gotta mention smth. It's really true. I tink i got diz thing with angpows. David forgot to give me lah, and yea, i was asking jul if she read my blog. There will always be someone who forgets to give me..diz yr record lah..2 person forgot. Den ok, they were like "David!! U havent give Cindy.." *sigh* Let me dig a hole and die of embarassment.

Ok back to the tie rudder incident. During my 2nd round[or was it 3rd?] of eating, i was sitting at the table wif yunshan n wenya n david n i suddenly pop e qn..'Eh today when u all use the rudder, was it very gd huh..i tie one leh[beaming with pride]' and den..i was brought back to reality. Yunshan said.."huh u tie one ah..david was wondering who tie one lor..very loose ah..he was very annoyed' *opps*. Den he taught us tt the best way to tie is actually the most insecure way. ha sounds weird but its true. Ok i'll improve on it, if i get to tie another time. Oh yes Ryan is really cute. Next time when Ryan goes to for BMT, it'll be like 'Saving Pte Ryan' woohoo..my own not-so-funny joke. hahaha. I helped him clear his mucus n was deemed to have motherly instincts. No lah, juz tt its very uncomfortable to have ur nose filled wif gooey stuff n not having sum1 to clear it for u when u havent learnt how to do it yet. And besides, he's so adorable. I'd gladly do it for him. =] haha yah i didnt gamble much coz i dun wanna push my luck too far. Oh wait, i dun even have good luck to push anyway. I am not a very lucky person by nature so after winning a few rounds and losing another few rounds, i was back to my original state and stopped playing. Went home wif Angeline at 730pm. Wah so tired tt i slept on e train frm pasir ris to boon lay. 1 end to the other end. All i noe was when i woke up, my neck hurt a lot. Hope i didnt cause any inconvenience to pple ard me by swinging my head ard. No, i'm quite sure i had it supported by my right hand. hah

Happy 20th Birthday Wenya

That's us after our mango dessert. Clockwise[from left]: Sally,kaiyan, lipin, guimei, me, jul, wangwee, wenya and weili

Wenya very contented and flashing her smile..with her present..the monkey

Us at where else but Crystal Jade

I asked them to pose for this picture =]

Wanna type more but really tired man. Shall try to update tmr. Mean while, since a picture paints a thousand words, here's a 4000 word-essay for u.[4 pix= 4 thousand words]. Enjoy.

day 1 visiting

hey i made a record. I did not update my blog for 1 day. Yah subsequently i may not update as many times as i am doing now. hehe. But oh well, I'm here for a while coz i've been doing serious work for the past 2 hrs so i'm granting myself at least 15 min break. Ok damit, i noe i've exceeded but..=]

I listened to e David Tao CD--Ultrasound album, which my brother 'kope'[took w/o permission but not equals to steal] this CD from my cousin's office. Yea i really have to agree with Wen on tiz, Tao Ze's voice has a calming effect. And he sings with so much emotion tt if u happen to be like some person who has just broken up wif ur other half[choy!], u'd probably have tiz instant connection with his music n start crying all over again. I was hoping to hear the song 'ji mo de ji jie' in this album so tt i can know more than 1 sentence for tt song, but too bad lah huh, it is not in this album. Well if there's any consolation, many of the other songs in this album were just as good. Like 'Ai hen jian dan' and a couple of others.

Today's visiting was concentrated on my Dad's side. We left the house at 10am and i regretted sitting beside my brother in e MRT to Yishun. I am very sure I had the same constipated look cum frozen smile tt yunshan had at e dinner table last sat. Yes my brother said plenty of extremely beyond e dimension of lame stuff, and i was the victim who had to suffer. If tt's not bad enough, he had to flex his muscles. It's very hmm..egotistical and i dunnoe how to put it.

As u all know, i've got broad shoulders n big arms. Den my brother who pumps iron in e gym n takes all e supplements to make himself more muscular has muscles twice the size of my arms. And when we sit in e squeezy MRT seats beside each other, there's hardly any space left to move our arms and its kinda lyk deltoids-to-deltoids, shoulder-to-shoulder, whatever. To show tt he's oh-so-strong, he sits with his arms folded, and flexes his muscles. Then i look at him and says, "yes i noe tt's ur muscles..yea yea. Enough!" Guys..wad r they really thinking man. And a 23-yr old guy for that matter. My gosh. And he decides to entertain me on the MRT when all i want is actually just some sleep. Peace and quiet is just as good. But no, he starts being lame and crappy and ask me spontaneous on-e-spot questions he came up with, all the way frm Marsiling to Sembawang. Self ask, self reply..all by himself while i sit n *pengz* in my seat.

"Who goes to Marsiling?" ---"Muscles. No wait, actually its Ma Xiao Ling"
"Who goes to to Woodlands?"---"Lumberjacks!"
"Who goes to Admiralty?"---"Teo Chee Hean. Coz its Rear Admiral Teo Chee Hean! And when he goes Admiralty, he only goes to the back of it..coz its Rear"
"Who goes to Sembawang?"---"No, its not 38 pple. It's cucumbers. Coz its 'Some Bawang[malay for cucumbers]"

We ate the stuff our Uncle cooked at his house. He's a chef so the food was lyk superb. This yr my brother n i decided to be more pro-active and talk to our cousins, and extended cousins. We went to another HQ where the Tay family wld gather, a house at Tiong Bahru. Yea i saw my uncle who's an actor. We are not directly related. He's my father's cousin, but anyway, we still address him as Uncle. Just anyhow whack lah, dunnoe e proper way of address, stick to 'uncle' or 'auntie'. Then my grand-aunt who's an ex-crescentian introduces me to a member of an extended family who's also a crescentian--Sec 1 diz yr. Grandaunt says to her, "Erm, you can call her 'jie jie' " So i start talking to her[e sec 1]. "So, what's ur CCA?" and she replies, "NCC". Woahh, a sudden "Hmmm..really?" comes out from my mouth and i raise my eyebrows. "That makes me ur very indirect senior, 7 yrs difference." In my heart i'm thinking, 'no, pls dun call me jie jie. U can call me Cindy. Can u imagine if i went back to Crescent n see her n she calls me jie jie? Paiseh like mad lah'

Anyway after all e chit chatting and mingling ard i realised there's a person from e extended family tt is also studying in NUS, Mechanical Engin Yr 3. But it really doesnt matter, coz i dun even see everyone in my faculty, needless to say pple frm e Engin fac. But we did talk quite a bit bout wad else, sch related stuff. Modules, CCA..etc. Oh yea, every yr there'd b 1 relative tt will distribute ang pow n forget tt i'm also eligible to get an ang pow. Maybe it's coz i look old[highly unlikely] or they r cock-eye or tt i am invisible. But i dun really mind, actually. It's just a few dollars difference. This yr was no exception. But my dad who was sitting in front of me realised tt this other Grand-aunt gave out ang pows and forgot to give me. So he was like gesturing to me to raise my hand and demand for my share or smth. Somehow she saw tt my dad was acting strange n den she asked wad was wrong n he just let her know tt she has forgotten bout me. wah lau damn paiseh lah. She was like extremely apologetic and embarassed bout it but i was even more embarassed than her. Dad!! Don't ruin it for me pls. hahahaha.

I have to say, it's been a tiring day. Though its juz 2 houses tt we visited. Somehow this yr e mood is not there for me. Dont have the festive mood leh. Like for instance, i dun even have time to do some decent spring cleaning! Or maybe its also because wo zhang da le n its no longer an exciting affair collecting $ n increasing my wealth at tiz pd of the yr. Hmm..

yea rite

Have u all been reading the newspaper? Well, my Adv. Calculus lecturer has! In his attempt to inject some life into the lecture during the New Year's Eve lecture at 2-4pm, he started off as follows:

Dr. Tan Chong Hui: "Have you all seen today's Straits Times front page? It says "US schools take to Singapore Maths. Let me read out for all of u:

Mathematics teacher Stacy Jones asks her class of 9-yr-olds at College Gardens Elementary School: "Who can tell me the perimeter of a rectangle which has a length of 9cm and a width of 5cm?"

Numerous hands shoot up in her fourth-grade class of about 25 children. She points and a pupil answers correctly:"28cm".

The teacher had more questions:"How did you that answer? Who can tell me what we mean by 'perimeter'?"

Many hands go up again.

At the end of the lesson, Ms Jones asks, "Who loves maths?"

A chorus of young voices replies loudly: "We do!"
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My lecturer stops at this point, then he asks, "So...who loves maths??"
The whole LT booms in 1 unanimous voice: "We DON'T!!"

That's coming from a bunch of Maths majors, mind u. hahaha. Talk about a passion in maths. Wow, i have to really dig deep to find back tt passion. Maybe all these while its been there, the passion hasnt left me at all, my interest and love for maths has been intact. But i need someone or something to rekindle tt spark, to make me re-discover a love for maths again. Heh. It only takes a spark to get the fire going rite? I hope when i become a maths teacher, i can "mould the future and breathe life into textbooks"[quote by MOE], esp Maths textbooks.

Well, aft lecture, I rushed home to do my bit in Spring Cleaning the house. Well basically i just cleaned my own room windows lah, its sparkling clean now. The tables and all i wiped it b4 sch reopen-ed so i suppose its still clean.

I know this sounds a bit morbid n inappropriate since its gonna be CNY soon but i tink its quite cool to talk about it. Wen was asking me on msn wad i'll do if she dies and i replied tt i'd probably cry like mad, den eventually pick myself up and yea lor, attend her funeral and send her off peacefully on her road ahead. Not sure how but then we also suddenly mentioned bout sea cucumbers and i said, "hey maybe i'd throw sea cucumbers into ur coffin, to verify if u are really dead. Coz if u arent dead, u'd probably jump out of ya coffin and start screaming like nobody's business." hahaha. Actually if I died, I hope pple who comes to attend my funeral will come wearing red. My favourite colour. Not only tt, there shd not be excessive mourning, pple shd be happy. Really. There's ntg sad about me dying. Or anyone dying for tt matter. It's just passing on to another world. Yah i want happy music to be played. Not those tear-inducing songs like 'Amazing Grace' or 'Nearer to thee my Lord'. Those 2 songs are like some instant trigger for me lah, so i dun wanna hear tt. I'd probably shed a tear or 2 if i hear tt in my coffin. But i tink there's an increasing no. of pple in our generation that wants their funeral to be a happy event, not sad. Maybe if i was enterprising enough, I could tap into tt market n cater coz there's a niche for tt.=]

nice pic

I love this picture a lot. It was taken on 24/10/2004, Sunday. Just wanna to blog a little bout it. Someone accidentally got a bit high last Saturday's and spilled quite a lot of beans about another person's encounter with *ahem*. It all started with a casual remark from me, which went smth like, "The doctor gave Jul 2 weeks *C but the *C is NOT that *C. hah" and then it triggered someone to say lotsa detailed stuff. How did this happen? This despite the fact that I already repeatedly warned her tt she's gonna be a "pow-touster"[a person who leaks e secret] Hahaha. Ok I am being subtly discrete about going into the details though almost, or everyone in the team knows what and who I'm referring to. Heh. As u can see in the picture, I am in the middle. Yea and I'm also stuck in the middle this time. Coz I had a moral responsibility [heh] to tell Jul wad Wen leaked on sat yet Wen told me not to tell her too much. Sounds confusing? Oh well nevermind.

Today's GEK1012 lecture was really insightful. The lecturer invited social workers from the Singapore Children's Society to come and talk to us about volunteering and reaching out to kids. U know, like Tinkerfriend[the helpline for children]? Yea I feel like helping out and lend a listening ear to kids who are lonely and distressed. Condition states that volunteer must be 18 yrs old and above and free of criminal record. I pointed that out to Jul and she said, "Yah, and free from mental illness. You better not anyhow counsel lor?" Rest assured, I wont. I am a rational person. Hah. But seriously, it was very nice to hear what services they have to offer. I liked it what the invited speaker said, "I am not a good speaker, but I am a good listener" den I told Jul, "Actually, tt's all that matters" I mean, sometimes u just need someone to hear you out. He/she may not give very good advice but just being there, a physical touch of reassurance, is more than enough.

Anyway today I managed to go and fix my camera. Yeh!! I'm so glad its alright. The person just repaired the camera for me on the spot and it didn't even take 3minutes. Thank God! And the better thing was I needn't pay a cent though its no longer under warranty. But he did warn me to be more careful and not bang it here and there. Oh yea, how could I forget? I can withstand knocks, but my stuffs may not be able to take it. Hints: Buy shock-resistant stuff for me k. Thanks. But I still gotta buy a 32MB memory card which I dropped accidentally. Yea this really did teach me a lesson of taking BETTER care of my things in future. I really take pride in my stuff and yea, I don?t want this sorta stuff to happen again, really.

Lipin, I dunnoe if u go online and if u are reading this but just wanna say sorry ahh. Just now when u called to settle the ODAC stuff I sounded super hostile and pissed off. U noe ah, I got this extremely bad temper when I just wake up from a nap. And u happened to call at that time. Opps. Speaking bout the nap, it was supposed to be a 45 min one but I extended it to 2hrs instead coz I wanted to continue this dream tt was going on. I cant remember what exactly was it but it sure was a very interesting one, such tt I forgo a run I was supposed to go after I wake up. =] hah

Light of the World

Attended the 1030am Mass today instead of the 845 one with my family coz i cldnt wake up. Slept late ytd lah. Heh. I thought wad Fr. J.J said was really meaningful. It's a story bout a church in Switzerland being built on the top of a mountain. But because it was built on the top of the mountain, having electricity to be provided to the church was extremely costly and kinda impossible. So the villagers who attended church carried up their own lamps up every Sunday for Mass. And there wld b this huge glow at the top of the mountain every week. When the Mass ended, the villages wld bring down their own lamps one by one. Now, on the other side of the mountain, pple watched wif tiz spectacular sight week after week. It's somewhat like bringing their light to the rest of the world after the Mass is ended and tt everyone, every light contributed makes a difference n contribute to a bright glow.

And then he asked the congregation if we too, were 'light of the world'. If we too, bring this little light n shine it to the world. Heh i dunnoe leh, was wondering if i let my little light shine and live by example. Somehow i believe I'm doing my best lah, but maybe its not enough? Well at least i make it a point not to compromise on my faith. I'm not a holy-moley person but i do try to priortise things of importance to my best abilities.

Anyway, after church i went to buy my new year clothings, finally. Wont go into the details of where i went but yea i bought 4 tops. Pink is in for me diz yr. Ok, not hot pink, or shocking *gasp* pink, but light pink. I'm experimenting with different colours dat i usually wont wear--like purple, pink, dark green, white. Reason being tt my wardrobe is full of red, blue and black. hhahahaha. I need some revamping, seriously. Can't find any nice pants or skirts, but anyway i've decided this yr, skirts are out. I've been wearing skirts for e past 3 CNY and diz time round i just want to be simple. Maybe to be some Giordano ambassador and wear Giodarno top and jeans. Casual is in, casual smart is out. Besides, i cant wear sleeveless till we go on some vacation to get back a nice even tan. [Hint targeted at Lipin and Wenya =] plan a clique trip to some beach prefably wif snorkelling and SEA CUCUMBERS. haha] Right now i've got 3 shades of tan juz on my shoulders itself. Damit.

I think quite a bit when i take the transport. Like, what for let time go wasted and stare into blank space right? Today I suddenly thought bout smth which made me grin sheepishly. Ok i was trying hard to hide my smile after tt. Coz if i burst out laughing pple ard me wld probably think I am a mental asylum patient on the escape. I thought of the perfect way to introduce myself to someone and to break e ice almost immediately. It goes, "Hi, I'm Cindy. I have a disability. I'm LAME." hahahahhaha. Ok, but the pt is i dun always think bout happy/funny stuff when i take e transport. There was this once, I was reading the bk 'Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom[for the nth time..i read it over n over again coz its such a gd bk] and i thought bout my grandfather who was gonna leave us anytime soon coz it was lyk the final stage of his illness. Yah den i started tearing uncontrollably. Wad extreme ends of the emotional spectrum man. I too, am amazed how i manage be so emotionally rich. I must have a high EQ! but i believe I need to NOT think so much when taking the transport man. Maybe thinking is ok, just dont suddenly burst out in laughter/tears and scare the wits outta everyone ard me.

Sometimes pple disregard the fact that though there are pple like me ard who are funny, we have feelings too. They may harbour a misconception tt we can weather almost every tiny pinpricks in life. Sometimes they accidentally say things that may hurt but think tt we'd probably shrug it off as a joke. But no, sometimes it hurts. Sometimes things are not so funny after all. I dunnoe. They probably forget that we too, have a fragile pride. Or maybe its my Leo pride. Then again, i dunnoe. But if there's any consolation, pple like us dun get angry for long. Still, i think its not nice lah, to think tt since we'd get over it anytime sooner, u can say stuff tt hurts.

I think i've maintained a good record, at least for a start. I manged to blog once a day for the whole of this week. Most likely the intensity of blogging per week will drop, but i'll maintain lah, maybe 3 times a week, depending on my mood. Sounds like not-so-gd news for blog voyeurs hehehe.

Running with Amy

Amy, this is for u man! The quote on my blog yea? U definitely failed to kill me, in fact u sure did make me stronger! B4 i talk about trg, let me talk about the Run. At first i was happily partnering Wenya [wait, or was it Jade?]as the front few pair. And then i got switched by Mona to be the 3rd last pair. Subsequently, she said to Amy, who was standing in front, to partner me. So in my heart it was like, "oh ok no problem" and then we were told tt today we were gonna do an OTOT run to Sheares Bridge and back. OTOT in the sense tt we ran tgt wif our partner. Tt was when pple behind me tagged by back n was smiling n saying 'Congrats' and 'All the best' coz Amy is a really, i really mean REALLY, good runner. Like 'Thanks ahh'

And so we started running. By the time we hit the 'noisy longkangs[drain]' we overtook like 2 pairs in front of us. And then we ran a bit more, slightly after KLSSC and we ald overtook the 1st pair--Cheez and Geoks. I vaguely remember Cheez saying, "Jia you ah!" when we overtook them and ok, we continued running. I thought to myself, "hmm, diz run is not going to be easy man. " Before i knew it, i realised Amy was ald opening up a lil, or was it tt her pace increased. Or both. Nevermind. We reached the Sheares Bridge, Amy said, "We are half down. Let's keep going. Doing a good job!" and i replied, "Yes let's keep going. We can finish it together." Inhaled a deep breath, told myself not to think about it, and kept going. I noticed i was panting, or was it tt i was breathing deeper,harder n faster. Amy IS really gd man. As Yirang puts it, "Amy, we are always behind U!" [pun intended]. haha. Managed to stay consitently about 10cm distance behind her. Yes I was lagging. Still, she maintained a very upbeat attitude throughout the run. I would draw enough energy remaining[very little left actually] and mouth 'jia you!' and she'd return with 'keep it up!'

Never was i so glad to see the 'I love Amy' vandalism, coz it's an indication tt we are VERY near our destination. Just need to run up the 'noisy longkangs', down n across the road, and charge back to SDBA. So we managed to run up e stairs, onto the 'noisy longkangs'. I hear Amy say, "Come On Cindy, let's open up!" and i stare into the clouds[i make it a point not to look down when running ] and my whole body scream with agony. Nonetheless, since this is a pair OTOT, i had to go when she go. I had to open up when she opens up. By then, i was already alternating between breathing through my nose and breathing through my mouth. Gosh i was really kinda shagged. I lagged by more than 10cm, and she would push me on, more encouragement poured in. Yea so, down the stairs, and cleared the road. We both sprinted back into SDBA.

We walked out to wait for the rest to come back. "Gd run huh?" she said. And I said, "AMY..U!!..U..made me stronger..ahaha coz u failed to kill me! But, i almost died lah!" Then she laughed and replied "No u were gd, u cld keep up." Oh man, i realised something on e spot. If u wanna shut me up when i run, partner me up wif Amy. Other den the words of encouragement we exchaged throughout the run, I cld barely manage to talk to her bout other stuff. But i must say, it was quite a gd run. Painful but nonetheless, great. It's really great running wif u man, Amy. U're the man!..no..U're the woMAN. =]

So today for the row, haiyah 1st set's always a mess, 2nd set much better. I realise i row unconsciously, in the sense tt, other than consciously looking at meiping to coordinate our timing, I dun look anywhere else. That explains y i was so extremely fascinated when we ez-ed and i realised tt we were ald at the Esplanade. We rowed tt far. Ok, wenya u r gonna say i'm sua-ku rite. Bad girl, take away some of the stuff we gonna give u on ur bdae. hahah. I must also say smth bout the reunion dinner. I crapped so much at the dinner table, but hey, i'm not the sole contributor of lame jokes ok. E ultimate is actually not me lor. 'Let's see who's more lame, den see who use crutches or wheelchair.'[or smth lyk tt]---tt DIDNT come from me. It came from..hahahha.

Oh, forgot to add. Today's joke of the day is as usual, contributed by David. Here goes.
David: "Wenya, i put u in front so tt u will experience how the front pack works. Next time when u are back to the back pack u wont GABRA. Understand? U wont GABLA. U wont GRABA u hear me?" hahahah

Tsk but e day ended on a sad note. My digital camera!! sobs. No, i didnt lose my camera, juz tt i banged it accidentally on Jiamin's chair and it just kinda malfunctioned. And i tink i'm so dead unless i send it for repair soon. And e memory card too. How can i be so careless? Damit.

listening to old grandmama story

I bet u are all wondering why i have not slept though its already so late. I'm listening to someone tell story on MSN..yea its really an interesting n excting[tt's e only 2 words in my vocabulary heh] story man. I guess though we came from different backgrounds, we all came together somehow, maybe through FATE[the 4 letter word], but we all have a common goal in mind--to prove to others dat we are a strong team. Meiping jie-jie asked me bout y i stayed n wad made me join. My main intention wasnt to join actually, but just to experience during the fun row, what dragonboating is all about. In the midst of trg, start of trg tt is, felt demoralised, but tiz one particular saturday trg [14/08/04 to be exact] erased all intentions of quitting and so i'm here to stay!!Details..ask me personally? Haiyah ok maybe i shd juz post it here if not pple will ask me 1-by-1 n den i'll have to repeat it over n over again.

Intentions to quit arose coz land trg at the start was kinda hard to bear n if u commit, its 3x a week. Like which sane person wld wanna involve themself in a sport tt's so time-consuming. After all, i thought i'd nv understand a sportswoman's ability to juggle wif sch work n CCA coz i was nv in a sport, Team Sport to b exact. So my friend n i made up our minds tt 14/08/04 wld b our last trg--row for the last time n leave with no regrets. BUT, maybe it was a play of FATE, and a complete change of heart for me. 180degrees turn. During tt trg, David, for no particular reason, made us race with e Alumni team. 4 boats were in line, David said to us "The boat tt i'm in never ever lose one ahh" n i was e left pacer if i didnt remember wrongly. Whistle blew, we rowed like there's no tmr, and in e midst of rowing i sumhow truly understood the meaning of 'One boat, one heart, one stroke' during the 'race'. Needless to say, we won. Funny isnt it, how 1 incident tt may seem like nothing to others can actually mean so much to me? From tt moment, it was like some kinda awakening. Like 'woahhh..so THIS is what dragonboat is all about.CoooL~' So tt's the reason. A simple reason actually. Subsequently, i got to like the team n the girls. The people, their genuine concern n encouragement is another reason. The 3rd reason, its me. Thirst for this kinda siao-on sport. As usual. Mum n Dad have gotten used to it already. Always zi4 zhao3 one. Last time in sec sch it used to be like having to polish boots n iron uniform up to hrs. In JC, it was gg to OBS-es n Adventure Trg Camps n coming back wif sand-fly bites, blue black, sun burn, scratches. Now, a new chapter in my life has begun.
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Anyway, i logged off at at 355am after chatting on msn for probably 4hrs. To hear bout their story of how much sh*t they go thru tgt was quite endearing. hahaha. Right now it's 1258pm and i'm in one of e comp labs in sch. I realised tt sleeping only 4hrs is not tt bad actually. Initially when i woke up my eyes cldnt open wide enuf coz lack of sleep but i slept on e bus to sch n den somehow i feel quite refreshed n energetic[i hope.] hey hey! It's exactly 1 week to somebody's birthday!! Hahah..i remember ok..at least i didnt mix up wif 12feb. I cant explain y i keep registering ur bdae as 12feb and not 11feb. Sorry when-yah. Anyway i'd give u a BIG HUG on ur bdae ok? As for singing..hmm..we'd see about tt =]

Lastly, i just wanna say somehow i feel tt something's not right, as in, something was strong but the intensity of e particular thing seems to be wavering n diminishing recently. Hmm, i wonder what's it. There's no right or wrong answer. Its open-ended.

Adidas Climcool Watch

Erm, erm..how shd i start? Er..i was preparing to go to sch n put on my watch and what did i notice?? I realised that the watch strap is like partially snapped and it is hinging on tiz small portion. But i didnt notice it ytd leh. Den I thought about it and i juz cant think of how my watch strap cld snap. I mean, ytd i was at the gym doing some OTOT trg but it cant be what. Den i thought bout how 9 pple would come after me coz it's my birthday present 2 yrs ago. Hey i really take gd care of it, really, i mean, there's like a lot of scratches but it only goes to show that i test it out in rugged condtions with me. It literally goes through thick and thin with me mah.. Just like u all, my friends--lipin, kaiyan, wangwee, sally, guimei, yanling, wenya, jul and weili. Its become a part of me man..i feel naked without it. And it's accompanied me up Mt Ophir and Gunung Stong and through trgs and all. It is the reason why i am always[maybe not always but still..often] punctual. I'd see what i can do to fix it though, just dont kill me. And if it's not too much, cld i request another watch for my 20th birthday? Thanks. hahahaha. Preferably Adidas with silver metallic strap tt kind.

No, dont get me wrong. The Adidas Climacool watch is not spoil. It's juz that the strap needs fixing. I still cant explain how it kinda snapped. It doesnt mean i nv take gd care of the things u all gave me k. Really. Here's a record of the things that are still in relatively gd condition:

• 1998: a piece of cake[long digested ald] n the foolscap paper which kaiyan wrote on[i still keep it]
• 1999: green Stussy shirt. I cant wear it anymore but its in my cupboard. I can show it to u when u come to my house.
• 2000: 3kg cake[long digested also] n Billabong white wallet. The wallet is clean, i washed it. Its also in my drawer. I no longer use it but i keep the neoprints we all took in e wallet.
• 2001: ah-tur[the tortoise is very much alive n kicking] and a blue Billabong pencil box which i am still faithfully using. If u dont believe, can ask Jul or Wenya to verify.
• 2002: make up box n eyelash curler. At home..as gd as new.
• 2003: erm..the Adidas watch[the strap kinda snapped for i dunnoe wad reason]
• 2004: CD player, as gd as new, and i listen to SHE n Ou De Yang with it. Oh yes..n the blusher too. Used a little only coz every sat trg leaves me wif natural blush[pink cheeks frm the sun tan..or sun burn?]

So as u can see, i really take gd care of my stuff. It's just that accidents do happen sometimes and actually it is ald quite a record i only spoiled 1 thing out of the many things coz after all, u noe i have a reputation for breaking things. I'd go to see what i can do to fix the watch strap coz i really love tiz watch a lot and i'm juz as upset when i saw its condition tiz morning. Yah i better get back to work now. Take care in e mean time folks, dont fall sick b4 CNY if not cannot enjoy all the goodies. Woohoo..New Year coming!! Shucks, i just remembered i havent bought new clothes. Damit.

on the lighter[brighter] note..

hello again. I was too tired to type a continuation for ytd's entry at night. i slept after i took a bath. Anyway i wanted to say tt trg did take away some of the blues. And i found myself with a smile lit up n spread across my face at the end of trg. Initially, it was lyk everyone ard me was telling me lame jokes which i cld not find any energy to appreciate[it's lyk u hear the joke n u give a sian face n think i ur heart, 'very funny meh?'], but den i dunnoe how n why but aft trg its lyk pple were actually being really funny tt i joined in to crap a lil. I guess i'm like tt, sad but nv sad for long.

So here's a lil thank u speech. For fanelle, jul, wenya, and fatty*a. It's this kinda lil encouragement tt keeps u gg when u r down, n i really appreciate it. fatty*a..hmm..who r u huh? pls let me noe who u r can? anyway thanks oso. When-yah, u responded when i asked for a hug thru sms. Upon seeing me during trg, u rushed to me wif arms right open. I felt accepted. Awww man U noe how this gesture means so much to me. =]

It would be impossible tt i have fully recovered from tiz, but i can truly say tt i'm better ald. I slept a full 8hrs sleep and yah, u noe how sleep cures me of all unhappy stuff. I woke up diz morning and attempted the tutorial with e help of this 'help sheet' issued by my lecturer and i tink i can understand e stuff SLIGHTLY better. hooray.

Lastly, i'd like to say that some things are best to come only once a month. I got mine a 2nd time after 18 days, maybe tt's also y i felt so emotionally imbalanced ytd. I like surprises, but this is NOT the kinda surprise any woman wld like to have.

*p:s fanelle ur joke very lame leh..but i like. heh. =]

i aM stuPiD

I am really a stupid fool. I stare at my maths tutorial and i dunnoe how to do my sums. I think i am probably the worst maths student in the entire maths faculty. I quietly sob when i sit at the YIH study room to do my maths problems. Nobody knows it coz it seems like i am clearing my nose due to some flu. I am feeling so lousy lah, it sucks. And I just feel kinda depressed over the entire thing, and how i can feel so worthless all because of some stupid maths tutorial. Sometimes when things get so difficult and you stop excelling in it, you wonder if you are really still passionate over the subject.

Please do not leave a comment saying like, 'hey cindy, u r not stupid. You can make it into NUS so u are surely smart' coz it aint gonna work. I wish i cld be smarter. NO, actually i dun need to be smarter. I just wished i understood things better, and see things as it is quicker. Why is it that the Chinese Nationals seem to be able to breeze thru all e stuff but i'm lyk slogging like mad n not understanding a thing i'm doing?? I dunnoe wad am i doing when i attend lecture and not know what is going on. Its not like i dun wanna ask questions to clerify my doubts, but its tt i dun even noe what to ask!!

I think i suck, pls tell me i do. thanks.