celebrating jul's bdae

And so we cld meet up to celebrate a belated bdae for jul at dragon village, marina. We ate steamboat, it was a nice get together, meet up, talking and laughing.

7 of us were able to make it, out of the 10. Funny conversations tt happened over dinner table:

Weili: Cindy u've lost weight! Ur face like more pointed, u really shou xia lai le!
Wenya: Eh Cindy, teach me how to lose weight leh..
Me: Be captain lah!

Everyone at the dinner table started laughing. And of course there's wad, first aider and doctor make a gd pair, 1 can pump, the other blow. Of course, weili was referring to CPR but it didnt sound quite rite.

Of course, the crescent style Happy bdae tt rocked Dragon Village. Small in no. but look at the noise we create. We were loud i tell u! Damn high.

how's trg today?

i'm so happy tt my appetite is back to b4. For the past 2 weeks my appetite shrank and i just couldnt eat. Food didnt seem appetising, perhaps coz i had too many things on my mind. I knew i lost some weight, the pull up bar being the indicator. Easier to pull urself up when u shed some weight. Plus i weighed myself at the yih weighing scale.

My 1st meal tt i managed to finish up e entirely(for e past 2 weeks its just plenty of leftover) was the sci-ence oyako. this time round i ate oyako while yirang ate katsu. I shd b glad tt i'm losing weight, but no! this is not the way i wanna lose it, its unhealthy. So i'm just glad i'm eating properly again.

Ytd was the 1st land trg, came home at 11pm coz all 9 of us went for dinner aft trg. we crapped n talked n laughed n some whined(u noe who, n its not me btw..) Funny how when i reached home n told my mum trg resumed ald, and she said, 'wah so fast ah, sch havent even started n u start trg ald' and i'm thinking in my head, 'Yah, i was the one who resumed the trg.' Yes, she doesnt know yet, and i'm not planning to tell her until maybe when sch starts. I'm quite sure my parents will b ok abt it, juz dun want them to start worrying(n nagging) bout me and how i'm gonna cope with a transfer of course and all. I've said it, i juz dun want pple to worry bout me. It makes me feel very bad. I noe its concern, but..yah. I'll be alright, really.

Calf straightch, arghh. Yes, blooper moment. hahahaha yes i laugh at both our mistake which we made. very coincident indeed. Still need some polishing up for conducting warm up and warm downs. Debrief, i asked, 'do u all noe wad am i gonna ask?' and it was a same response frm all, 'How's trg today?' well at least certain matters are sorted out now, and its nice to hear wad everyone has to say. From the seniors[promoted automatically frm c gin na] and the snr seniors. It all boils down to this: we all want the best for the team. Some things will change, but values n team culture tt are passed down will remain.

mona n vic officially handed down the stuff to yr n i, and briefed us on trg matters in wisma mac. mona no longer role model, she was 1hr+ late. vic n i who were facing the plasma tv screen in mac, couldnt stop laughing at the national day song for this yr, e retart action for 'soaaaaaaaaaar' n everytime the song played we'd arm chiou.

I'm still emotional; if i watched a sad show i'd probably need a packet of tissue. However, when dealing with other things, there's a need to be firm.

Dont think, just do.--serene said it once

changes and adaptation

i've just experienced 1st hand what it feels like to have to be torn apart between friendship and responsibility, and to choose the latter. It hurt so badly..

i'm no longer the same as before, I'm objective. Objectiveness takes precedence over emotions.

Pls do not worry about me. It's the beginning that is toughest to get through, and it'll take some time b4 things get sorted out, so tt's when i'll start smiling.

Thanks though, for the concern, the 'r u ok?', the 'take care'. I'm really ok, the human being is more resilient tt you ever thought possible and will eventually rise up to the occasion. It is cliche yet true, the only constant is change. It'll definitely require quite a bit of adaptation frm everyone.

I'm a strong advocator of 'wad fails to kill u makes u stronger'. Certainly, i'll look back some day and realise tt i've become much stronger than b4, emotionally(especially), and as a whole.

I have a running buddy who is also my vice capt. The person who blame it on the 'Jurong air' whenever we r accused of lame, e person who gets 'high'-er den me and we call each other up for midnight runs. The person whom i talk to aft every trg in e mrt, and someone who's one of my fav pull up supporter. Well if we do smth really 'special' during trgs, let's just blame it on..the Jurong air. wahahahaha.

Matric Fair duty

To very very annoymous: You are a dragon boater arent you? shant guess who u r coz i'm really bad at guessing. Someone told me even if u rowed a gd set but get last, there'll still be finger pointing and blaming. Everything else other den a win is a shitty set, but tt's NOT how i feel. So to answer ur question, great set but last is still a great set.

And i would rather have a B den an A+, under tt circumstances. Thanks for ur thought, very very annoymous.

So ytd was the Matric Fair for FASS and Wenting and I were on duty.It sure did feel kinda nostalgic, considering the fact tt we met at the squash court at 750am to slowly stroll to MPSH2 to report at 8am. Previously we'd meet 8am at Kallang Stn to walk to SDBA tgt, talking bout stuff, discussing bout strokes.

we talked bout wad qns e freshies wld most likely ask n wad answers we wld give, while walking to MPSH2 We always end up laughing at each other. Always. Catching each other's embarassing moment.

Then we thought of ways to attract them to sign up. It's damn cheesy but somehow it worked. Twin came, passed me a letter, woah, it was kinda moving. 3 pages long somemore. Twin understands, aft all she has gone thru exactly the same predicament 1 year ago. chee ling, yunshan, mona, geoks came also. Quite nice to see familiar faces ard, kinda miss them esp coz previously it was seeing one another 4 times a week. Yah, of course we TP-ed.

I finally got re-matriculated and it was as if a NS man turned in his 11B in return for his pink IC. Wad a moment, when i turn in my matric card tt printed 'Tay Cindy Science' for a new matric card tt printed 'Tay Cindy Arts and Social Sciences' i do noe its not a smooth road ahead but at least I noe i can breathe a bit better here.

Wenya called me aft i finished giving tuition at 9pm. Seriously, damn tired aft tt. Matric fair frm 8-6pm, den tuition frm 7-9pm..burn out. She made me luff so hard, this future psychaitrist who offers a lending ear though in e end i said i was ok.

It sure was a great chat wif zhenyi online ytd till 2am. Lots to think about for now, for the future. The ultimate whiner is back in singapore. I'm not the one lah hahaha

Today i had planned to go swim wif wenting but i didnt feel gd in the morning. Woke up with slight running nose and it was like a nightmarish kinda awake. In e end we decided to go shop in Orchard to get stuff she wants b4 her SEP. Salesman with charming smile+ thick eyebrows spotted in this bikini shop tt we stepped into. =] nice~

I finished calling the pple i'm supposed to call. It sure is tiring lah. N tedious may i add. I believe i need some sleep..

is winning everything?

My toothy grin has made way to a frown. wenya n yirang calls it the constipated look on my face.[constipated face on my look, whichever] Even i didnt notice it till they pointed it out to me on thurs.--Dang1 ju2 ze3 mi2, pang2 guan1 ze3 qing1.-- It is the by stander that knows better because she can observe whats happening to the person who's gg thru it. Then again, how can i ever notice it when i dont carry a mirror with me and i cant see my facial expression unless i look into one.

Detailed blog posts has made way for sketchy posts, perhaps soon there'll be none.

If u asked me whether i'm stressed, i'd answer, 'not exactly.' I'm more of overwhelmed with stuffs tt r presented to me and discussed during the meeting itself.

It's intersting how they say to me now, 'Cindy, its ok to whine to us u noe?' and then yirang carries on with this really gd impersonation of me n my 'i dun wannnnna...'[which i'd always do last time] when in the past, it'll be, 'Cindy, stop whining!U r behaving like a 6 yr old kid'

The qn tt i once thought about n asked wenting, jul, wenya has surfaced again. Wld it rather be a gd set yet we dun win; or a messy set yet we win. Be clear that the definition of winning is ntg short of a 1st.

Right now, my stand is still the same as b4 race itself. Is it really a finger pointing, fault blaming game tt surfaces when a team doesnt win eventually, even if it was a gd set? I dont think so. I dont FEEL so. No one, and nothing can take away tt feeling which i felt aft e race. It is etched clearly in my mind and in my heart.

I want to smile again

Project Rakchuay

Rakchuay: Rak means love, chuay means help. So it means love and help. Went for the 10 day trip to Thailand, Chiang Mai to help improve the situation of water table of the villagers. How? By building checked dams.

Checked dams are different from the dams tt u see in textbooks. Its not as sophisticated as u think it may be, yet it is labourous having to get ur hands dirty to do it. What we did is to fill the sacks with earth frm the surrounding area, using changkul and hoe as equipment.

To ensure tt the checked dams stay in place, we used BIG rocks as pegs to stabilise the structure. We had to trek up(1hr) to our dam sites for 3 days in a row to accomplish our task.

During the trip, i had many first times. 1st time building checked dams, 1st time harvesting vegetables, 1st time gg for thai massage, 1st time trekking at night, 1st time eating as many longans as i possibly can in e longan farm. I think there's many more, but i cant list down all at the moment.

Being the youngest in the project team certainly had its 'priveleges'. Perhaps when we started out, i didnt really talk much also, hence they viewed me as a quiet person. [But many shd noe by now tt i dun normally open up to strangers and u'd not see e lame side of me showing until i noe u better] Hence for e 1st day of the trip i was just mingling with a few people. They all said tt their 1st impression of me was tt i was damn serious, quiet, very strong. Towards the end of the trip, coz we were supposed to write warm notes to everyone, they all beg to differ. They were saying, 'u hor, y u so slow to warm up?? Now den really see ur true colours, didnt noe u so lame one!'

Being the youngest, i was arrowed to answer during sharing session tt was conducted once every 2 days. Sharing session=debrief. Just when i taut i waved gdbye to being arrowed during debrief[like back in db], for 2 sharing sessions, i was the one asked to answer. 1st sharing session they asked bout wad 'ground rules' shd be set n i mentioned bout punctuality coz pple were pepetually late and yah, i had a problem with tt. 2nd sharing session they asked bout wad we learnt so far frm e 4-5days n i taut i wldnt be arrowed to answer so i didnt plan an answer. After hesitating for quite a while n thinking of the smth to say[which i taut wldnt be questioned further], i mentioned, 'Dont take things for granted' Then they asked, 'What do u mean by dont take things for granted? Dont take what for granted?' diaoz.

Actually i'm not tt young really. Though i'm born in 85, it juz so happens tt e other participants r born in 84 or earlier. Just so happens tt though i'm born in Aug[its not like being a Dec baby], i am the youngest in the Crescent clique. And in db, i'm e 3rd youngest. Then again, maturity dun come with age. I'm sure i've proven that during the trip itself.

Bathing is something that i really dun look forward to. Thats because the water is damn freaking cold. The bathroom is made of thatched straws and its juz a big tub and a tap that fills the tub with water. U juz use the bailer to splash urself with water n bathe. By the time its 5+pm, its ald quite cold there. Since we are in the village which is somewhat on high ground, it gets very chilly towards evening time. Bathing in the cold, woah. The last night on the village, Dacia and I agreed on bathing at 9pm to experience ultimate freezing experience. We ended up screaming to each other while bathing in separate cubicles beside each other, when the cold water descended on us. Brrrrrr. Kept we chattering in the cold throughout the shower.

Harvesting of vegetables wasnt in our itenery. It so happened tt the villagers needed helping hand in harvesting veg and so he informed Uncle Sam[our coordinator] and then we all agreed on helping. Kampung Spirit is very evident here and it simply touches my heart to see how everyone juz steps out to help willingly without asking for anything in return. So beautiful, really, to be surrounded by rows n rows lush green. I gently turned the veg in an anticlockwise direction to slowly pluck it out of the soil. Harvesting is easy, carrying up the basketful of veg is a different thing altogether. It was a 5min trek up to put down the basket filled with veg tt we plucked. We went 3 rounds to carry the basket up, and it sure reminded me of kent ridge slope. Perspired like mad lah.

Traditional thai massage was another 1st time experience. Seriously, i felt kinda weird. I've never been touched like this before, hahaha. Initially i was laughing like mad coz i'm afraid of tickles n it was kinda ticklish. Other parts of the massage saw me tensing up coz i had to endure the tingling sensation. When it came to massaging the inner thigh, wooah, it sure did feel weird. Just wondering how the guys felt, it must have felt even weirder. My body felt so relaxed aft the 2 hrs session.

I have so much more to say, but..nvm. Here's some pics anyway. Enjoy.


Waterfall trek.

Harvesting vegetables

Checked dam

back from thailand

hi yes i'm back from my Project Rakchuay. Loads to post but too little time to do so. It was a very enjoyable and meaningful trip. I feel like deleting my blog. I dun have the time to update n furthermore, i tink soon it'll no longer be 30-40% of my feelings but 20-30%? Or maybe its juz a narrative kinda entry where i juz write about wad happened without evaluation.

Well anyway, for the trip, i'm the youngest in the team n somehow i was considered the xiao mei mei. N wad the...i'm being called cindy mei. arghhh. Being the youngest have 'priveleges', like during sharing session aka debrief, kena arrowed to answer. I thought i'd say gdbye to short n brief answers, but no. hahah

will update in a later date. when i've more time in my hands.

in thailand

hi i'm in some internet cafe in thailand now. We r given like 1hr 30min or so for RnR but i'm sick of shopping aft 1hr, so i found tiz place to spend e next 30 min.

Anyway, i tink my brother's really scaring me!! Ok b4 i start, happy birthday Benjamin Tay! (as if he's gonna see lah) Anyway today he offered to accompany me down to send me off till i board the cab. N he actually helped me by carrying my stuff. Then when i was entering the cab, he said, 'Hug hug?' and i was stunned for the moment. Like seriously??

I'm so not used to him being nice to me. He stood at the roadside with his arms wide open. I saw no reason to reject the hug, n so i went up to him to hug him. Wah seh, my gosh. Why is he being so nice?

I gave him the YEP shirt as a birthday present. Eh not cheap hor, $10. And besides, we hardly give each other present n this is e 1st time so start cheap first. Dad actually took time off his work to meet me at the airport to send me off as well. Suddenly feeling so loved.

I think i do so little to deserve tt kinda love..

stay away!

I'm so pissed off. Like, seriously. I mean, i took some pillls so tt i'd be able to have my fav aunt settled before i go for the YEP trip. But it has yet to come!! This can only mean 1 thing, i'm gonna kena during the trip itself lah. But i'm damn sure its coming really soon, coz if its not PMS mode i'm gg thru right now, den maybe i'm purely unreasonable.

My dad, mum n bro have been unfortunate victims of my bad mood swings. Its like, i just feel tt they r asking far too much questions n probing bout where i went n all tt, so i just snapped back at them. 'Haiyah, stop asking lah!!'-- i yelled at my mum n dad. N den there was brother who asked bout what i would do in future, now tt i'm switching to major in economics. I answered, 'It's my future, not ur future, why u ask so much?' and he said, 'No, i'm just concerned mah'

Ok, perhaps i'm really PMS-ing. Pls, if i'm alone by myself, leave it as it is. u can come over n ask me if i'm ok, but dun ask too many qns coz every little thing seems to trigger me off. Arghhh~

Went to explore the pasar malam with yirang just now. Yah, long overdue man. All the loading of sinful food. It was a sinful feast---taiwan sausage, chicken wing, kuey tutu, muah chee, sweet thai coconut, ice cream. There goes the midnight runs. But..energy in, energy out mah, rite? Besides she rationalised it by saying i shd go get a taste of S'pore food n remember tt feeling b4 i leave for my YEP, where i'd be deprived of local delicacies for 10 days.

Cap is an optional item to pack, and i've decided to go without it. I cant bare to let my white nike cap get dirty n not wash it till i get back. Implications wld mean tt I'd probably come back with a tan colour worse than now coz i heard the temperature there is as high as 35 degrees celsius n we'd be working under e sun, digging a well for the vilagers. I forsee tt e blisters on my palm will never ever get e chance to heal completely. But, our efforts r worth it, i hope.

I cant be contacted from 11-20th coz though i'd bring my hp, it'll be off for the entire trip coz i dun have auto roam. Even if i had auto roam, reception up there is another problem. Will be back on e 20th, think i'd reach Changi itself at 10pm or so. Any last words, pls say now hor. Dont wait till there's no chance to do so...*choy touch wood*

Here r some picx from wendy's 21st bdae cum chalet. I know it's 1 week overdue but..been busy lah.

This is NOT the cup of life. This is the dreaded cup, the cup of vodka which..*those who were there u shd noe* ;)

Vic still drinking, even aft last night's incident. hahaha. meiping looking dazed, while the others r playing the Bean Game.

Who's the birthday girl? e one who is drenched lah. I've made plans for my 21st le..there must be no swimming pool ard~

Blindfolded and cheated of the 'trust'. 7-8-9....30!! 

All of us accomodating to pose like tt. 10 stupid things tt Wendy does, Number 1..TT face.

We are the willing sistas who helped Wendy the whole night BBQ-ing stuff for everyone. =]

the retreat, and some thoughts

wow wad a surprise visit frm hongxin! Yup didnt noe u'd chance upon my blog..wahaha. anyway, thankfully i was the secretary in odac lah. president..luckily nv kena, haha i wanted to slack also mah. ;) btw, wads with e chubby cheeks? Dont u dare go pinch my cheeks whenever u see me ahh. very painful sia! But thanks for the congrats.

and as for wenya, n to pinxiu, cheez, geoks, n i dunnoe who else who calls me tt, i'm not cindy mei! it must be bad karma i'm receiving coz i started calling meiping as meiping jiejie.

yup jul, with appointment comes responsibilities. I'd take a step at a time, but look 2 steps ahead while walking.

I've just came back from a retreat. This retreat is different from most retreats, though its my very first. It's an individual retreat, where its a personal reflection n review as u take time off the usual bustle of activities to come n to really sit down to meditate. Serene asked me along n i agreed to go.

Its quite hard to really describe wad we did but i'd kinda enjoyed the experience. And no, its not because i sneaked out to Orchard Road to have fun. bleh. If there's really 1 thing I learnt, it is to listen. To build on my existing listening ability. Another thing is to be more aware. To listen to the voice deep inside me, to listen to the people ard me, to listen most importantly, to God.

Something embarassing happened this morning at 2/3am in e morning. I was sleeping in e same room as Serene, and i actually sleep talked! I suddenly muttered, 'Serene, do u need any help?' and she went, 'Huh?' Fortunately, i kinda resumed enough consciousness aft she 'Huh-ed?' to realise tt i was blabbering nonsense. So i replied, 'Oh, i'm in trance. nevermind.'

Damn embarassing lah. Thankfully she didnt probe further. My brother used to play along with me last time when we shared e same bedroom[b4 we moved house] by attempting to ask me qns when i'm in a state of dreaming, and i'd stupidly answer, only to realise aft 2-3 qns tt its not in my dream tt someone's asking a qn, but in reality. Then i'd wake up only to see him laughing at me.

Today is Saturday. I'm blogging at 325pm on a Saturday. It sure does feel like smth's not right. Why? Because from last Aug right up till last week, there hasnt been a Saturday when we dont have water trg--excluding, dec hols, 1st 2 weeks in jan n if there's a race tt lands on a Sat. Now i'm just sitting in my room staring at my 2 paddles, both named Cin. I do know however, tt when trg resumes, i wont be thinking like tt. It's gonna be a brand new beginning. Likely changes tt will be implemented:

-No more Accelerade. It will be flushed into the toilet bowl

-TP-ing will be made compulsory at least once a month.

Like seriously, nah, u wont see those changes. I guess i can forsee myself downing Accelerade till we finish wadever's left. Cannot waste. I seldom/hardly waste food. Powder can waste or not?

As for TP-ing. TP-ing is no longer the trend. It's no longer TP high, but video- recording high!! Director and producers of the movie '10 stupid thing tt wendy does' are looking into the production of the next movie. yah rite~ hahaha. Inspiration doesnt come so easily as u think hor. Instead of 'ok let's go to the pull up bar', it'll be, 'ok let's go n TP.' Like seriously, it will definitely not happen lah. Or maybe? hmm..

On e more serious note, I'm gonna have to start talking!! There goes my 'ntg' response when asked 'pacers, wad do have to say about the set?' or my 'it was gd' response when asked 'how was trg?' Den again i dun have to answer, i juz need to arrow pple to answer.

I cant be tt lame anymore. If i have smth lame in my head, it has better be kept in my head n not be said out. Yup, there's a time to be serious n a time to play. More time being serious n less time to play.

I'm beginning to get bombarded thru my email account by a sender whose name i still think is very hillarious. His initials is Tan C T. Had to reply his email as well. I better stop b4 i get killed by some people *ahem*

No one expects herself to be an appt holder. I'm not sure bout others but at least for me it really is so. I didnt raise my hand up for e 2 qns asked during Anonymous session at Pacific Cafe where we closed our eyes . Perhaps thats also y when i signed up for the YEP to Thailand, i didnt realise tt i'm needed back home to settle stuffs tt needs to be settled. Thankfully i've got lydia ard to settle it while i'm away from 11-20th July. Seriously, no one expects herself to be an appt holder..

Since 'the tribe(team) has spoken', i understand tt its an indication of trust n faith in me. May not start out smooth sailing, just like sometimes our starts dont bring the boat up, but let's give one another a chance. A chance to make mistakes, a chance to learn, a chance to hear one another out, a chance to get stronger.

like seriously?..like totally~

AGM, or better known as the election, was held today at Pacific Cafe.

initially it really felt like there was this firing squad n we were e prisoners awaiting our sentence.

They really grilled us n the 7 of us took turns to answer. I dunnoe wads with the listing of 3 qualities, but each time i had to list, i cld only come up with 2. Den i'd say, 'i can only think of 2, but i'll say e last one when i managed to come up with it.'

Then there was this qn on wad we wanna see change in e team n i mentioned smth bout frankness n for some reason, the 'stand up speak up' band was staring in my face and i got inspired. So i backed up my pt abt openness by bringing up e point bout the Accelerade thing. Erm, i dunnoe, i thought it was quite bad to talk bout it coz its like just my personal preference against tt drink. Then i got shot even more, bout whether its an individual fear of speaking up or e atmosphere/environment.

I really didnt see it coming, really. I had initially thought i'd not b an appt holder n concentrate on getting my studies stabilised since i've transfered to arts. When mona was announcing who'd take over her position, i was still happily TP-ing, capturing the moment, as usual. I felt kinda lost at tt point in time, not knowing wad to do next. Lydia's e vice-cap, hahaha yes wenya, living with lydia + checking out with cindy. A gd pair, a lame combination.

I dunnoe wad to say as well. After thinking for a while when i was asked to make a speech, i just said, 'I'll take care of the team.'

Really dunnoe wad to say, yah thanks everyone, for having faith in me. Dun trust me yet, i havent deserved tt trust which i noe must be earned e hard way. Right now i'm juz kinda tired aft reaching home only at 1pm. Wanna say more but i'm shagged out. Was out the whole day, went to give tuition den watched initial D with yirang, den actually agreed to go for a midnight run with her.

Dont call me captain cindy, it really feels weird. N i'm not boss either. We passed by this shop and the name of the shop was 'little boss 2' den we started laughing. I'm not little boss 2 either. I'm cindy. Yes, this is who i am.

Like seriously?(my line) like totally!~(lydia's line)

farewell gifts

I woke up diz morning blabbering some nonsense. Mum walked into my room at 620am and asked if i needed to wake up early to go for trg. I muttered, 'huh..yah must. trg starts later today.' I woke up 10min later, diz time more conscious n aware of wad's gg on. Ok, today IS a monday, but there's no more training. I laughed at myself at such a stupid reply. So i continued to sleep.

Den i woke up at 840am. I wake up quite early coz i'm a morning person. Went to the toilet to clear my bowels and i felt smth i havent felt for sooo long. The ass on fire feeling!! Coz we ate so much dishes with chilli and all tt tiz morning aft i shitted, my ass was sooo painful. But it felt damn shiok. hahaha

Here's a recap of wad happened for the past 2 days. We were involved in 2 races for Day 1. 2 heats(women's open) of which we sent 1 team down for each heat. For our boat, the starts were well executed so we got a kickstart and were leading. Maintainence, we didnt drop much but maintained glide, but ntu definitely had a better maintainence than us, so they caught up and led. Then for last charge, we just went to do wad we cld. We came in 2nd and we qualified for the semi finals.The feedback was tt there front pack cld have lift up more and paused longer during the maintainence to let the back pack pull longer.

E other boat did well too. Though there were tears from some of them when they came up, timing wise we were almost the same. We had a debrief tgt n cooled down, den it was the gifts ceremony. I'm sure u've ald knew by now tt this yr the standard is very high. N u can check out wenya's blog for a detailed entry[pics included] of wad was given. Just wanna mention bout the present tt i suggested we gave to the snrs--towels. Wah, got anything more fated or not? Its so fated till its kinda freaky. Wenting n Jul drew lots to pick 1 snr tt each junior was assigned with e job to sew tt snr's name on e towel. My name was the last name, n they were wondering which snr's name havent been put down. By much fate to be together, i was assigned to sew Wendy's name. Like seriously, twins~ By now some of u wld have heard how i unpicked 3 times to do her name n kept mumbling to myself as i'm sewing, 'wendy, i'm sorry  if this turns out ugly. wad to do? i sux in sewing!' Thats e reason y i kept apologising to wendy outside settler's cafe n said to her, 'you'll noe on saturday.'

Day 2 was more eventful n exciting. I got a welcome gift from dear wendy. "Welcome gift to Arts". Then i asked geoks n vic y there's no "Farewell gift from Science" haha asking for too much lah. It's a baby piglet, who is by no chance a gay, thank u very much. But its soo sweet lah. Aww man. Had quite a lot of time to the 1st race for the day so we did a lot of TP-ing again, in different combinations n formations.

We were down for women's open semi-finals--me, wenting, jul, raine, wendy, geoks, vic, meiping, serene, cheeling. Hmm, to sum it up in as little words as possible, it wasnt a gd set. N it was a disappointing finish. We walked up the launch off point with defeated looks on our faces. Mona was there to welcome us back from the set. I think by the look on our faces, there wasnt a need to ask, 'how's it?' She just stood there ready to give us an embrace. The hug lasted a while and during tt 5-10 sec, i thought to myself, 'chin up, its alright. be strong' though deep down inside, it felt like shit.

We had cool down. I happened to turn n look at vic n saw tt she had cried. We had a debrief n we evaluated it, and we agreed on a bold move. To change strategy for our ivp. Mixed race, they came in 2nd. Never underestimate the importance of a last charge. Really.

The ivp race. We agreed on long pull, pull right back. When we were at the launch off point, there were many hugs n jiayous by the team. 'Pacers, be steady ah', Lydia said. At the launch of point, e 4 juniors on e ivp boat--raine, jul, wenting n i came tgt for a while. jul/raine said, 'Let's do this for the seniors and make this a really gd farewell gift for them.' At tt point, i let it go. Yes, my eyes were moist. A bit of sniff. I cant control it tt well. I just thought bout the snrs; for meiping--she's graduating le, probably e end of her db career. yunshan--long service award(in db for 7 sems), its time we gave her smth. serene--she came back this sem to join us, sometimes get zhua-ed by her on e boat, we must do smth for her to show tt we did learn a lesson from the zhua-ing. if not..*unthinkable* wendy--her 21st bdae gift tt she can be proud of. geoks, cheez, vic, mona--we have to replace their tears with a proud smile. to our team mates--they r cheering their hearts out for us, let's not let their efforts go to waste.

We practiced our long pull, pull right back when we rowed to the starting point. Cheeziest thing we heard on e boat was when serene said, 'no matter what's the outcome, i just wanna say..I LOVE U ALL' But it was quite sweet lah, come to think of it. For me, i was closing my eyes doing some deep breathing, n when i heard it, i just burst out laughing. We executed our usual starts and den long pulled. I thought it was very touching when vic shouted, 'Listen to ME, you must trust ME' during the race. We really trusted our coxwain to bits. Stroke rate was not fast, yet we pulled really long without dragging in the water. Towards the last charge, I knew we've done this so many times ald, with vic as coxwain.  "build up..up 10..3,2,1 n go! Ready for last charge!!!? 3,2,1 n go! ..3,2,1 n go!..3,2,1 n go! We r not finished yet!...and easy" I felt it, i finally did. The thing tt the snrs talked about. Feeling for each other. Today i can truly say, i've not only seen, but i've felt it, with my heart. We came in 2nd. There were no regrets, we fought hard.

When we ez rowed back, wenting said to me, 'u noe e thing u asked me on e mrt tt time bout which i preferred? A gd set but we dun win or a messy set but we win? iunderstand wad u mean now by a gd set but we dun win[win=1st].' we hugged each other aft tt.

There was the prize giving ceremony and e medals were handed out to us. No 'stupefying england' coming frm david, like eg during mr500 he said to me, 'pacer, gd done ah' This time round he didnt say anything, he just shook my hand. instead it was vic who said, 'heyyyy pacer u rock!' We had e last debrief session ever. My eyes were moist when yunshan said she was impressed with the juniors n how far we have come. wen n jul, who were on my right n my left cried. It's hard not to be sad, really. I felt so proud of all of us for coming this far. For pushing ourselves to capacities n limits we thought we'd nv reach when we joined initially. So, r the snrs aka old birds proud of the ci gin nas? High chance its a yes.

Smile, only because it happened.

our seniors--chee ling, victoria, yunshan, meiping jiejie, geok wei, mona, serene, isobel, wendy and angeline. We had wanted to do it so badly for them for e ivp. I hoped they liked their farewell gift.

Thanks weili and wangwee, for coming down to support us. Yes, tt's the notorious inverted 1 tt i always pose in pictures. Its my way of posing with a 1. sorry jul, if it reminds u of..smth u dun really wanna remember

e pacers[wendy n meiping] with the Zheng He boat as background. Wenting n i always wonder how they can stand not laughing at each other on e boat while pacing. We r very impressed indeed at how they manage to control their laughter.

The whole team. teamNUS ladies dragonboat. We start well, we end well.

Wendy!! my twin. baby piglet--my welcome gift for stepping into Arts. I feel so loved

Welfare's present for us. Checkered buoy in a glass bottle. Meiping jiejie looking very fascinated

Aft the heats, many disappointed look.

My partner..Wenting! Shared so many funny moments with u. Yah n ur constant reminder for my 'front catch!' and me shouting at u to 'pull longer!' Stop laughing at me..hrmpf. Damn, i'm gonna miss u when u r away for SEP next sem =[

Lefties, we rock!! yirang lydia wenya yunshan serene vic jul cindy wendy jade

e c gin na's.

wendy's towel, n my towel. Because of stitching, i'm blacklisted. i admit, i sux.

gdbye sci-ence katsu n hello arts katsu

i reached the arts deans office today at 845am though the interview was scheduled at 9am. Better to be early den late. well apparently there was still someone b4 me n this person took freaking long lah!! Firstly i sat on the couch and lay my hands on  The Straits Times main section which was on the newspaper rack, and den i finished reading the Home section, and den as if i havent already waited long enough[it was ald 930am!!] i managed to read the 'mind ur body' section. Den Life section, and finally i took the Arts n Social Science book and looked through it again so as to make sure i got my facts well.

Sharena, Prof Straughan personal secretary, came over to ask me if i could wait coz she knew i have ald been there for an hour. I said i couldnt wait coz i had smth on ltr, rather urgent in fact, but..i can probably wait a while more. I didnt wanna make a big fuss though i had ald wanted to show a super black face. Then again, i noe i cant crush my last hope. Patience, ren, endure.

I finally managed to step into prof straughan office at 950am. Thankfully i was told to leave my stuff outside, if not i wld have looked extremely awkward with so many stuff tt i had to carry. The setting was like some kinda formal interview, 2 interviewers[prof straughan n another lady], a long table in btwn us, den a comfy single seat sofa for me to sit.

I made a blunder at e beginning, walau huge error lah! was trying to tell them tt i've taken 2 arts modules n i enjoyed doing it. 1 of them being tiz GEK1012 module, which is a social work module. Slip of e tongue, not due to nervousness but i think wasnt thinking right. I blurted out, sociology coz she was asking wad department is it tt offered diz module. Den she asked, 'how come i dun recall a sociology module like tt?' and i realised my big mistake. Quickly corrected myself, 'social work, not sociology.' I think my mistake kinda eased e atmosphere quite a bit. Made them laughed, n i laughed at myself also. When i told her i felt very stifled in science n was kinda like a person who wanna express myself yet i'm trapped in e faculty and i'm not happy there, she said, 'shh diz is btwn u n me. I feel e same way about science fac too. dun let prof victor tan[vice dean of science] know' I cldnt help but laugh again.

Once again, my tan is like the hot topic lah. Everyone juz starts asking e reason behind it and yup, i told her it was coz i'm in dragonboat. Actually she ald knows tt from my transfer application form. Asked if it cld be e cause of my not so outstanding grades n i said 'no'. justified it with e fact tt its really maths module tt i screwed up in. Yah, maths major getting e lowest grade for maths modules outta all e modules tt i take. Dun wanna bore u out with the qns she asked but in e end, it was kinda like some American Idol audition. Prof Straughan said, 'i'd say a Yes for her transfer' and the lady beside her also said, 'yah, i dont see y not' Yunshan ever did tell me tt she's quite motherly, she sure is. She told me she'd monitor my progress n adviced me on some other stuff. Really nice.

I didnt wanna break e news to anyone in e team coz i wanted it to be a surprise, at least for a while. Or maybe i had some mischief up my sleeves. Blame it on the 2 spots on my head. hahaha. anyway i went down to the boat n kept very quiet. Wenting n jul sensed tt the outcome of the interview may not be in my favour given the impression i gave them based on my quietness. I told meiping i'd only know e outcome in a few days' time when i ald knew on e spot. =] Aft trg ended, i walked to wendy and asked, 'do u believe tt we r really twins?' She replied, 'yes' and i said, 'yah, ok u'd see in me arts next sem.' same fate lah!! That's when she found out tt i tricked them. hehe.

Our last trg ended, thankfully without 10-10-10. *phew* yirang, u n ur prediction which didnt come true, heng ah. I believe e worst part of tt prediction was when u said, 'soon it'll be 10-10-10-10. N very soon, u'd have to do 1 set of 10 all by yourself' I struggled with 2 on my own coz someone, i forgot who but it was definitely someone at 2nd PUB, who said, 'let her do 2 on her own, she can one.' i've nv even tried it b4 but i juz struggled to get my head to be above the bar. Somehow i managed to do it, how? I'm not sure how though. I did my last 8th pull up but meiping counted '6..still got 2 more' on purpose. bully, hrmpf.

Debrief ah, hmm, i read yirang's blog. Yup i contained n controlled my emotions. I managed. Just clenched my fist when i had e urge to, let it go. Well its a gd n bad thing lah. Gd to control my emotions at times but bad in a way to juz keep it inside. Wah e day i release, its gonna be really wet. No, i just dont want it to happen again. They say its only ur true friends who have seen u cry. Well den i guess the whole team qualify, considering how i juz felt so damn upset aft tt particular race set last regatta n cried. It was just so overwhelming, 4 n a 1/2 pairs rowing, not very together, n a disappointing finish. It was e worst feeling one cld ever experience. Cldnt turn off the water tap despite trying to do so. That was my very first race experience. I believe i got quite a few pple worried tt time though. Anyway, Wenya was sitting beside me during debrief, den i juz sensed smth wasnt right. Sniffing, den when i glanced right to check, i saw tears running down her cheeks. Gave her a reassuring pat on e back and asked if she was alright. Sometimes it hurts to see my friends cry, or to be upset. It really does.

Settler's was fun, we played a new game. I forgot the name of tt game but i know we played 2 rounds, 1st round wendy n meiping were the traitors; 2nd round geoks n i were the traitors. Moral of the game: the bad guy wins!! So the traitors won n severed all existing friendship ties with the other players/team mates.

We went to celebrate lipin's birthday at marina, centrestage. Quite fun but aft everything, i was really exhausted. started being quiet at 10+. Its very easy to sense when i'm not my usual self. it is when i'm quiet, and i stop talking/laming. but dun misken; sometimes i keep quiet because deep down inside, i truly value the importance of silence and i dun see the need to talk. If u really noe me well enough, u'd realise tt i'm actually quite quiet at times, but its not tt i'm not in my element. Just tt i'm comfortable with keeping quiet, juz as i'm equally comfortable with spending time alone.

I'd like to end this post by saying a big thank u to God, n to my concerned friends n team mates who'd been asking me bout the outcome of the transfer. I dunnoe if i can do well in arts, but i'm certain tt i'll be happier there. Goodbye geoks n vic, hello..*deep breath* wendy, yunshan, serene, mona, angeline, yirang, jul, wenya n wenting. I promise i wont wreck too much havoc in arts. Well, i'm not tt powerful lah. Anyway i'm gonna slog hard, really hard. If it means camping out in yih, i shall.